here's to a new year :)

so 2010's coming to an end :)

i'm not going to say something lame like oh how time flies because NO. this year did not pass by quickly for me.
it took forever for each and every exam to pass especially spm. and now i'm a high school graduate babes :)

i guess i'm bad at remembering the year at the top of my head right nao, so, i'll use my blogger archive.

1. first of all, was walking into 5Explorer. i didn't really like the classroom, but i love the classmates :)
me, adeline, panda, and debbie were together :) and our whole gang sat at the back of the class. unlike last year when we were all scattered everywhere. this year we all got closer and become more of a gang :) and if i dare say so, we are the coolest class in form 5 :) we're also the class with most drivers. and class pictures.

2. i was abit tuition crazy this year as well. see, i'm not like you normal people :) before this year, i never went for like a structured, syllabus oriented tuition. my only tuition was more of a self study, personal tutor kind of thing? i'm not weird kay. see there's normal people there too :)

i guess i'll never see most of them again :( but i love them very much.

there's the usj12 gang, me, karling, andrew, chor heng, kavitra and kf. and then sri kl which is vern and audra. then seafieldians alvin and kai ning and then usj13 is ken wee :) 

right. what i meant by tuition crazy is that i kept joining and quitting tuitions. but it was a totally new experience for me. i only went for pn.poh's chem for like 7 classes, then quit. then mr.raj's bio, chem and phy for like less than 3 months. and i was considering add maths and even moral classes too kay. 

basically, i don't like it. for real. never liked it. never needed it. my advice would be to not go for so many different tuitions, but i guess different people different methods la.thank goodness my brain chose the more money saving one right :)

3. prefect board. hmm. as an ajk (with a more flexible post) i already escaped the daily duties but with it comes extra stuff right. i didn't exactly love the ajk board as most of you should know, but it made me more responsible and i got to do a lot of things for this darn school.

first and last agm i ever had to handle in the first few weeks. loved planning and facilitating camps. and then there's extra events.

all in all, i am bittersweet about prefects. i did earn a lot of things personally, but over all, i don't think it was worth it. you don't get much credit from teachers, or students, unless you're the head prefect, and the hours are crazy. my grades suffered. and the day i retired was the best day ever.

4. mssd. man i know i was whining about it all the time. even i'm tired of talking about it. lots of training, lots of effort, lots of fun, lots of experience, lots of failure. and encik shahril's gone :(

5. hard work and exams. form 5's not an easy year. i know college and uni is superbusy too, but let me elaborate as it is :) i remember first week adi got piled down with homework. especially with add maths and pn. heng's math. tip? give up on sivics, bm, moral and english work. seriously, don't waste your time. if you can escape, then good. 

exams were superkiller man. we are i think the only school with double midterms plus double trials. most of the year is exams wan. not fun. always busy. i've learnt to be a superpowered multitasker :)

and for spm of course, you learn how to work hard again. especially till the last day when i'm so dead tired and slept less than 4 hours of sleep for the last few papers, falling sick and stilllll made it through :)

and that's why i feel so contented nao, it's because i couldn't possibly have pushed myself further anymore. now it's up to God :)

6. all that, without abandoning my social life. form 4 and form 5 are so different because when you're friends can drive, omg, you can go out  A LOT :) in a way it's also a year of freedom.

my parents were uncharacteristically nonchalant about me going out a lot despite having major exams :) which was cool.

in fact not just school people lah, my church gang also. how many gazillion surprise parties and events and every year you just have to top it.

7. as a twelvean, we got one of the best events of the year. we're not the coolest school with IU's or concerts and stuff, but this year we got some and i don't think future and past years were as lucky as us.

a) kantin day. omg dunking machine osm! and first time in a loooonnngg time since it was open to public. put so much work into it, with the staying back and the cupcakes. 

b) talent search. made me crazy. but osm right? and all out talent search held at night? in our school? never :D but still it happened. and it was great. and who planned it? me :) i. am. osm.

c) graduation. ok i know the only reason the previous year didn't have this was cause of h1n1, but i think this year we stepped it up because of our coolness :) everyone looked so pro that day and :') we graduate from high school :')

d) prom babeh. i'll do another whole post on this. but really i appreciate the committee for planning it so nicely.

now you tell me which other year had a combination of all these? :) remember, they were public events (xcept graduation lah)

8. miscellaneous.

a) BIRD! Posted on 10th June:

did i mention to you the love of my life, left me? i see him everyday but one day he just left without saying goodbye :( sometimes i think i see him around, but they all look the same. i'll never see him again. 
i'm talking about bulbul. my awesome bird. he is unimaginatively named bulbul, after his species, which is a yellow vented bulbul.

yes. i claim it as mine. and i was so excited about it when it was around.

b) i now have the guts to kill cockroaches. with ridsect. never ever with smacking or squashing cause it's DISGUSTING.

c) bejeweled. it's stuck on me and will never let go. serious addiction throughout the whole year D:

d) football. the love increases every year. and the world cup. 

9. people leave :(

danielle, sam, julian, jc, paul, ysl. there are some coming back :) and a lot more still going. next year. i will emo.

10. i've also learnt to trust God more :) throughout the whole year of always being busy and tired, God never failed me. He was always there for me through exams and events and whenever i was just wanting to give up. He provided me with great friends and overall great opportunities. 

and in terms of relationships, i made a promise to God about the guys i would date. it's more than having high standards. i don't want to get into a relationship in which my parents and God would disapprove of, and i want it to be right. a guy with a future. 

and a guy that was mature enough to put God and studies first too.

so i gave up on guys for awhile :) in a good way you know? this is longest time i've not even liked or had a crush on a guy because i know what i want and right now, is NOT a boyfriend :)

and in my decisions. there IS a reason why my parents trust me enough to not complain about me not studying or going out too much or making bad choices and lying to them.

it's because i DON'T lie to them. and each year i promise myself that i would do only good things.

and of course my studies. couldn't have done it without Him :)

God, thanks for a great 2010 :) and i wish the best for 2011.

and it's 2008 all over again.

hey :) sorry! been busy with my lazyness and actual busyness... :) there's alot of things to post about, but i need to get this off my shoulders once and for all.

it's a redundant topic i know, but i just gotta let it out :)

my pmr & spm crew :)

so today was pmr results day for the form 3s. and it bothered me that a lot of people did well. why? because i am bitter about mine. still. i mean, really, congratulations for those who did, but i'm so jealous :(

:(

1. I KNOW it's been two years. but i'll remember the day i got my results. i was NOT happy. maybe to some people 6 A's is fine. but now, when you realize how easy it actually was, why on earth not one more A? stupid bm.

2. without trying to sound snobbish :D, i know i'm smart. i am! i put in effort for that stupid exam, but still didn't get what i expected. i mean, when most of your peers get straight A's, it feels like crap. and you feel like you're not as smart as them.

3. then to make things worse, they segregate students by straight A scorers, and non-straight A scorers. wth. so basically, at first i felt even more left out and jealous and ough. rah.

4. and then people come and tell you that you did fine. six A's is good enough, well babes, it's not, until now i still feel that way. and then when people found out that i wasn't happy with my results, they tell me, it's okay, not bad you know, 6 out of 7, and be all pitiful on me. disgusting.

5. then parents want to reward me. sure. reward mediocrity. and i have to half-heartedly accept it. and then everytime i look at my rm400+ elle watch (chehhhh :D) i only feel sad :(

HOWEVER.

it's important i remind myself that i should be happy with what i got.

1. it led my to an AMAZING class with amazing people that really made my last two years in high school absolutely perfect :) 5E made me meet with debbie, adeline and amanda :) and the rest of you all lah ;) and i love those people so much :) and it really was a different group of friends that i really really appreciate :)

2. it made me work harder for SPM. and hello, i just finished high school. SPM dictates your future, not pmr. and it's time i let it go.

3. i slowly learnt how to be content with what God has given me. it wasn't easy. at times i was really unhappy with God, cause i put in a lot of hard work, and i thought i deserved it more than some people whom i know didn't put in much work and just got lucky. but all in all, that one B led me to other paths, and i'm glad it did.


okay so far more cons than pros, but still i'll be okay i guess.

there's so much more to life than good results. you can be a real smarty pants, but you miss out all the fun in life. or you can have too much fun, and miss out on a good future.

i am truly happy that i have a lot of both, and whatever i get for spm, i'll know that i'll be okay.

Pt 2.

how unlike me to do a series post -_- but whatever, i've got alot to say.

5. there's so many possibilities for what's next. i do wanna dye my hair BUT not in some stupid lala cina trash job. and i hope none of you do too. i mean, a stupidly dyed hair just gives you a bad first impression doesn't it. and omg i want a haircut. maybe next year :) after prom. i love my long hair. and i decided it's going to be long forever :) don't joke with me about cutting my hair short and all. i've tried it before and i didn't like it at all.

so i'll just have to decide how i can change my hairstyle without actually changing the length :) bangs anyone?

AND i can paint my nails whenever and however i want. i gripe about this alot. i know people when they're in high school they paint their nails and get caught or moan about having to wipe the polish off when school starts but then wth they get to leave school and they don't paint their nails anymore! sorry if this is such a bimbotic issue to be angry with, but i'll show em.

i can have different colored nails everyweek no sweat. of course er i'll show some restraint lah. don't want my beautiful nails yellowing or weakened. just wait and see.

ps: i just want more nail polish. for christmas. or my birthday. that's allllllllllllllllll. but in a nice colour please :)

6. whatever i'm taking next year, i know that i'll be going for a mid-year intake. about june or july?
lazy to explain this or argue my point fully, but come on. a 6 month break? i won't grow into a vegetable i PROMISE myself that it will be fully utilized and extremely beneficial.

unless i get some miracle scholarship that forces me to start immediately -_-

7. got to learn ma driving. i've been truly blessed by having so many many friends that can drive and have their own car now, but i know i've got to do it myself. this is a must learn thing. even though i suck at it.

i've no natural talent for driving -_- which is thoroughly misrepresented by my osm video game racing car skills. and i'm a generally wimpy, indecisive, and easily distracted person, how on earth will i let others trust me with a large deathmobile when i don't even trust myself.

i scared.

8. after this i'll put up my personal list of goals to achieve in the next six months.

9. prom!

10. i think i'm going to try for regular posts here okay? and back to twitter. the twitter world has grown :) and i'm going back. AND.

football ohmai. when spm just started we had that losing streak. erm. with the champions league and with the epl. left me angry and unsatisfied so i just forgot about arsenal and football for awhile. now that spm's over, i can truly watch every match and squeeze 90 minutes of joy out of it. (if and when arsenal play well la -_-)

okay i didn't really miss weekend matches during spm but i promise i had a book in front of me at all times and only if i finished what i wanted to study for the night.

samir nasri is absolutely magical lately. i know he looks abit dopey and nerdy, but man he's incomparable :)
fabregas is being noobsence atm cause i don't know, but whatever. loser. and i really can't stand arshavin because he used to be fast, motivated, and able to weave in and out of defenders as if he was liquid. now he's just short, fat and lazy and does not deserve to be in the same field as the rest of my superstars.

sorry. i haven't had a good football talk in weeks D:

lol.

ANYWAY.

i've already been out the whole day for two days now. and today is my stay at home day. my room is 1/4 cleared. and hasif's got a party later :)

see ya'll!

the light at the end of the tunnel? it's bright :) (Pt1)

it's 2am in the morning and i just turned my computer on after spending 2 hours watching a replay of the arsenal vs partizan that i just watched yesterday at 4 am just so i can watch the goals and cause champions league video highlights are hard to come by and now i feel like i should blog. i do whatever i want whenever i want. with no (apparent) consequences. IT'S CALLED FREEDOM BABEH.

changed my template again. because this is how i feel now :) bright and loud and happy :)

big smiles yall.

spm's over yo :D

okay not really, i have est paper next week, but it's not counted :)

there's so many things to say and i don't know how to say it. hmm.

i know many of you can't relate or don't care about this. i didn't really care about seniors' spm exams because of that too last time. but spm is/was a huge thing in life you have to pass through. and this, is my closing ceremony to myself. :)

1. the very moment i finished my paper, i didn't feel like mad happy or anything. the only thing i felt was relief. about two days later, which is today, now, only i am feeling actual joy. i think i am overloaded with happyness now. i laugh at everything now. like lame stuff on the tv and internet and really, the stuff isn't funny -_- but to me it's absolutely amusing and fun! but. NOW i'm just sleepy la :)

2. because i don't have to study anymore. i don't have to physically sit myself down and do work for the majority of the hours of my day. i don't have to constantly worry about what i have to study next or how much time i have left to study. i don't half to worry about what i do anymore (in relation to studying of course)

3. then there's the standard holiday joy yang asas. can sleep late, wake up late, online like nobody's business, tv, stay home and do nothing or go out and do anything i want kinda freedom.

4. i put off a lot of things for the sake of this exam okay. 

• my room is in a complete mess. and has been that way almost since before my first trials started.     

besides the unhealthy amount of dust, hair, and dirt, well. uh. 

there's a few piles of books that were strategically located around the room. like in between the bed and the cupboard. in between the cupboard and the drawer. underneath the dressing table. underneath the bed. between the bed and the wall. reference books, text books, notebooks, magazines.

and that is the entire perimeter of the room besides my door. 

and papers! LOTS AND LOTS OF PAPER! question papers, answer sheets, seminar notes, other notes, state papers, trial papers. 

and then clothes. behind the door, underneath the dressing table (yeah, with my books), on the bed, under the bed, next to the cupboard. rahhhh.

and then just clutter.

my father says it's psychological. there must be some underlying reason why i cannot keep my room tidy.

hmm. i insist it is because i don't want to waste time clearing things that are bound to explode unto the scene again and that sometimes i just don't have time and i don't want to or I AM LAZY. but he thinks i secretly hate my room or my lazyness will later affect me in life because it shows what type of personality i have.

• there's also my overall health.

besides living in a hazardous room, and a country with a temperament weather, i'm pretty sure i blame being unhealthy on studying. spm had it's way of making me totally turned off by normal food. having no appetite to eat for the whole day is okay. but over a few weeks? i don't think so. i do eat complete meals, but those were rare, and probably compulsory or else people will actually think you are going on some stupid superficial diet when actually, you REALLY don't feel like eating much.

and no way you can find motivation to work out D: jogging? impossible. i stay rooted to a table with a book. 

and lots of sleep sacrificed -_-

the first week was history, that one really no choice lah. i mean this paper isn't easy. of course you try to read up as much as you can lah right. but it was okay. cause after the paper, there's time to go sleep cause the paper after that is 3 days away. but the two weeks later were the killerss man.

add maths is for me always a tiring paper. hello. full two hour and two and half hours of complicated equations that have numerous steps and each answer affects the next one so one careless mistake and DIEEEEEEE. to me lah anyway. i get the concept. it's the practical that's hard. o.o

it ended at 4.30, and then there's physics next day? i remember immediately after school, me and my tuition mates slaved it out till 8.30 studying okay. i went home, took a bath, and continued. till. well. late. about 2?

next day i came home after the paper and slept. and, i regret this alot, i claimed myself a one night break.

rubbish man. i know there were about 3 days before chem and one day before bio to study, but before spm started like duh right i study for earlier subjects. so then i kantoi myself lah.

chem and bio alot D:

slept late every night. friday, saturday, sunday, and at like 3am before the exam. and then monday night, and at 3.30 am the night before bio.

plus with the irregular eating and stress?

sick lah. fever -_- before and during bio paper. hey. in fact i still have it now.

running nose and all that also still have to study bio right? sigh.

plus you stress alllllll the timmmmeeeee. you study so much, and when you're not, you feel guilty, and like just plain SCARED LAH.

good thing? i lost weight. sampat right. about 3 kg kay. hee.

erm. i will continue this later after some sleep. it's like 4am now. 

it's like i purposely don't wanna get better right. stupid girl.

hee.

drop bombs.

laura <3 adeline

update:

1. must cut down football

2. must cut down facebook

3. must cut down solitaire

4. must cut down angry birds

5. must cut down sleeping

6. must cut down going out

7. must cut down shower time

8. must cut down dreaming

9. must cut down tv

10. must increase studying!

ps: drove for the first time in my life today. my charmaine is insane for letting me :D

pps: 2 more weeks D:

ppps: mummy's birthday tmr

pppps: i'm not fat

always and forever.

:)

my online record is getting better :) that day i went two WHOLE days without coming online. liar! my phone got wi-fi. but at least there i only spend about a half hour, here is like 2 hours. 

this week, eh. i had a mini well, i don't want to say breakdown because it's so self pitying and exaggerated, but what else can i say. i managed to be in a bad mood every day this entire week. 

i'm not really the type to throw a tantrum or purposely distance myself from others just because i'm unhappy. don't like people who do. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

bad mood because i can't study and my future and mean people and bad news and pms and weird parents. there's so many things i'm unhappy about. 

and i really am thankful i have Charmaine :) and God. 

i graduate tmr. it would be much more emotional if it was the actual last day i'd be seeing everyone, but no, there's still about three weeks left of school + spm.

but i can't believe i'm form 5. cannot. high school is like so short. AH but i can't wait to leave either. shh.

anyway. this is just a short update cause i think i have to cut down more on internet usage. maybe like only wednesdays to download glee, fridays to update my fantasy league, and monday for highlights :D (if we win)

anyway. all that plus the time i will spend on my phone. yeah.

lazy lazy lazy lazy to study.

distractions.

sigh. ever since trials ended, i've not studied at alll.....

i always thought by around 50 days till spm, i'd be studying hardcore. like bring a book everywhere i go kinda thing. then the 50th day mark passed, in the midst of the jps paper, i thought, wtv, 30 days only i will start lah.

tmr is 31 days.

actually, studying should be simple. just pick up the book.

we can't do it because we have low attention spans. and lots of distractions.

we're students right? our purpose for our studying years is to study. i mean, you balance all that with having fun, and all that stuff.

so i get very discouraged when i realize that, some people actually don't study much, and despite thinking SPM is very important, it really actually isn't, and they think they care, but they don't.

the average student isn't born stupid. you study, and you improve. 

your grades show how hardworking you are, not how smart you are. and you can't evaluate intelligence based on malaysian-government-set exam.

demotivated? what an excuse.

well.

i am now, what do you call it, lazy. yeah. i sit down to study and my brain vomits inside.

dinosaurs:

1. COMPUTER :D

hey, orang zaman lepas spent their time climbing trees and slingshooting birds, we spend our time here.

the internet babeh, is the best thing ever. you spend hours on this thing, and when you finally get up to pee, you see the clock and go omg, but then you pee, drink water, and come back and do the same thing.

i'm trying a new diet. go online on alternate days only. it's kind of working. but sometimes i have to run past my computer just in case i 'accidentally' turn it on.

2. phone :)

yes. sometimes i really hate my htc. it is stupid. but besides having a whacked out system, it does have wifi, and opera mini or internet explorer. so i can go online :) and i have basic games like solitaire and bejeweled that never fails to entertain me. quite addictive too. imagine if i had a better phone. with lots of apps. i'd never study.

my dad's phone has unblock me. it's fun. i know sometimes you all think it's boring, but the only thing i can say back to you is, it's for smart people.

and android just recently released the full version of angry birds :) finger numbing, mind blowing.

3. football :D

hmm. how to give up football for studying. weekday games are in the crazy early mornings, so less sleep at night = more sleep in the afternoon = less time to study?

weekend games are okay...but if they are earlier in the night, it takes away two hours of studying.

and this is every week. what's worse is that i'm drawn to replays, highlights and reviews. and on the internet. my bookmarks toolbar has 5 football related sites.

4. sleep

i never had a biological clock. i only wake up when i have to. i never voluntarily wake up. i don't know how or why people get up at 8 on a holiday... i only wake up early to eat, study, pee or go out. nobody wakes up for fun. 

but i always sleep late. hmm. and in the afternoon, i sleep sometimes too. i guess. sleeping in school? zzzzzz.

5. stop asking me to go out :(

i'm also broke.

i know you all think haiya, one day few hours only ma, but then keep adding em up okay, and that is a lot. hiking!

all in all, it is basically procrastination.

sigh. just one more month.

my room is disgusting.

just like gravity.

i lafh caffah! :D

Sometimes my house is like a hotel. i go out the whole day, and i only come back to sleep.

I had a busy weekend. but the good kind of busy :) if there is such thing.

On friday, after EST, i went home and had the best sleep ever :) exam is really draining sometimes.

then at night after church, like, 9 of us went to mae-gan's for a sleepover :)
we watched A-team again, it was much more epic in the cinema, but still a good movie :)
i've never eaten so much junk in such a short time before.

nuts, oreo, chocolate, biscuits, chips, blahhhhhhhh and we burnt the microwave popcorn...

and then one round of monopoly deal, and slept -_- 7 of us on three mattresses spread out.

woke up around 9.30? and had pancakes! :) hehe. and then at 11, went for a swim. yeah. in the sun.
i am sunburnt nao :) and happy :)

came back, had spagatta nadles, a nap, and then to church.

but stopped by at mcD for milo mcflurry and mcShaker fries :)

then sunday, TEN TEN TEN :D

i had a bad dream where i was being chased AGAIN i always have dreams like that...

To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears (www.dreammoods.com)

nonsense?

well.
went to church, and then lunch at mcD again, YEAH more mcShaker fries babeh!

then to church again to wait for everybody. so meanwhile we played more monopoly deal. yes that's all we seem to be able to do, thank God for hasbro.

my four day weekend continues!

i declared monday a megaholiday :) i didn't allow myself to study, or go online. so all i did was watch tv, eat, and sleep. i was very happy.

and today, panda fetched me, fatty, oliver, jx, and rajiev to usj 20's kfc. met up with dog, adeline, and kantha.
er. it wasn't open, so we decided to go to the kfc at ss15.

why must we go to kfc? because adeline had RM40 worth of vouchers. so indirectly, she belanja us :D
chicken :D :D :D

and then supposed to go to snowflake, but well, it doesn't open till 1, so we went to AC to play pool.
i still suck at pool, but kantha so patient with me :) a real gentleman :) hehe. and then foosball...

er. i used to be really good at it. like, can tapao guys kind of thing. but then never really played much after that so i stopped, and i think i am noober than i could possibly be. so fun playing with the girls :)

and then panda sent me to tuition. i haven't been to tuition in like, a month, and i haven't seen my tuition buddies in a month, but yet it's like nothing's changed and it's so fun there :)

football deprived. school starts tmr.
:D

got news?

wow! consecutive updates! :)

i had lunch with charmaine today. my best friend. one of my very best friends.

i've known her for 5 years and i can't make it a day without thinking i need to see her or tell her things.

and we've got history.

and at lunch today, we saw our ex (supposedly) best friend. that we had problems with during std 6.

and i can't on earth remember why we were in spite anyway. that girl was annoying at most, what immaturity does it take to venge total war and ignorance on her at 12 years old??

besides her, i never really had alot of friend drama in my life. the second closest would be fighting over a guy, but now we laugh about how he wasn't worth it at all.

i never really got what people meant about being backstabbing or bitchy, i would risk saying nooo, none of my friends are like that at all. even in the past, and especially not now.

the only people i yell at are my immediate family, or... oliver.

the most heated argument i had was probably with my cousin when we were like, 6, because i hit him (VERY LIGHTLY) and he accused me of pinching and scratching him (what a wuss) because of something to do with... the tv remote or something like that.

i'd always picture fights and confrontations in my head like they were so cool and dramatic. but in real life, i'd probably have nothing witty to say anyway.

i think drama is so unnecessary.

last paper tmr babes! and then an awesome packed weekend ;D

if i could write to make you fall in love.

i'm back :)

since adeline was pestering me.

i had an internet fast for two days, as in two whole days. i've never been off that long since i can remember. i guess it is an unhealthy addiction, i remember i used to be able to keep off for around two weeks.

oh how little willpower have i.

i changed the layout too. something not so loud because, that's how i'm feeling now.

it's around a month or so left till SPM and oh how unprepared am i.

i definitely improved, my trials results were 7A's and 3B's. i wouldn't call that bad :)

but i was lucky. i'm like, bumbling through and shooting with my eyes closed. can't count on that for spm right....

SO :D

for the whole month that i didn't update... of course alot of things happened. and i can't really seem to remember it. i wish i took the time to just post SOMETHING.

what i remember is studying and studying and studying and i think we all have some godlike strength being able to go through all these exams.

i mean, upsr is over, pmr ends like next week. heyyy stilll got one month more for us....

and i might have to miss camp because of spm. i dunno.

i never miss camp.

well.

i have to go.

and hahaha, STUDY.

harry shum jr ;)

holladays.

i am alone at home.

rar.

i never hate holidays.

i've been studying alot :/

i mean, why not. spm is (sorry) less than 2 months away.

and i'm scared to stop studying. cause i might lose any sort of momentum or motivation i think i have now.

what do i call it? it's called casual intensive studying.

beware of nerd talk.

i have a schedule. it's fool proof while having a back up plan, it's strict but reasonable, and it's not tiring. but oh wait, since when is studying not ever tiring?

but i thought if i kept up my cram before exam, sleep too much yet not enough, late night studying, i would probably crash and burn before my first paper even starts.

and i always knew i'd have to study hardcore by this time already. last year i thought i'd be starting much earlier. after the last holidays i thought i might start much later.

but i'll make do :)

because the secret is time management babehh :)

i study all morning till evening, about 10-5, with lunch break :), and then do nonsense like, watch tv, go online, bathe, socialise, wtv, till about 8 or 9. then i continue studying till about 12. that with frequent breaks.

and i take a break every one or two days. :)

and weekends? miracle if i get to study.

but i've been cranky nowadays too. so theres a zilch in my plan. i don't know why.

DON'T YOU LOVE ARSENAL :D bai!

zombies.

you know the bruno mars song, just the way you are, i mean, of course you know it. it is very osm.

i think the lyrics mean so much, for you know, just a pop song.

i think if a guy (that can sing, and sings well :D) sang that to me i will just melt, of course, he has to sing it with sincerity.

because telling me i'm perfect just the way i am, and you think i'm fine despite all my imperfections, so far, is something only God has done for me.

i am pretty and i know it :) just, sometimes, i know i look very retarded too, cause my default neutral face, is an angry, annoyed face.

that is why people tell me i look hostile and unfriendly all the time.

i don't like my single eyelid, yeah only on my right eye cause my left eye is fine.

but both eyes, still small.

and i don't like my lack of eyelashes. and they are short also.

i don't like my porous skin. especially on the nose, and areas surrounding it.

i don't like my hairy knuckles.

i don't like my short, fat calves. and my thunder thighs.

i don't like my feet. they are large. like duck feet.

and my tummy.

and my hips. very wide. when i give birth, they will just slide right out.

and i don't like my white hair.

HOWEVER :)

there's alot of things i love about myself.

i love my hair. it's long and voluminous, and its smooth, and straight, yet when i want it to be wavy, i can :)

i love my...teeth? never needed braces babes. and my lips cause they're not too thin and not to puffy. i know this sounds like nonsense. but for real, they. are. nice.

you know some people have flat lips, or fish lips, and lips that stick out too much, or not at all.

i think mine are perfect. i should stop peeling and biting them.

i love my shoulders. and my collar bone. hahahahaa.

i love my legs too, in a way. i mean, they could be a whole lot shorter?

and yeah that's about it.

i know, this post annoys me too. and i almost don't wanna post it.

it's the culture anyway, nowadays.

like, i look at megan fox and feel inferior too.

i know how to be content with how i look, but sometimes some people, even some people you know, are that much more good looking.

and you go like warggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

wtv.

i am pretty :D

btw. i love charmaine.

arsenal.

i'm sorreh, i was just watching the goal of the month review on arsenal.com where they replay all goals from the month and i look like a sampat moron at 1.16 am in the morning smiling ear to ear and almost insanely deprived of football for a whole week already ahhhhhhh after a few replays i don't even look at the goal, i look at the fans cheering and the commentators and the stadium announcers and they are all so happy and sigh, one day i will be there okay one day and i too will be there, extremely happy and then i will stalk aaron ramsey, because his foot is still broken so he can't run away from me see now i can't sleep because that stupid 6 minute video made me so happy.

bai :)

candy coated.

UPDATE! :D

hee. so. i'll start with melaka.

it was osm.

:)

i went out at like 8 in the morning -_- jess picked me up... and.. we went to her house :) and watched tv and lazed around till 11.

then we went to cineleisure. which is so quiet. and empty. and nice :)

we watched step up 3! i don't know why i'm so chirpy nao, but wtv.

the dances there will blow your mind :)

and all these silly dancer people. sigh. there's gonna be dance next year. i signed up. did you?

and then we went back to her house... supposed to sleep, but i watched more tv.

then took a shower.

then went back to church. where we were much too early. -_- they said 6.30.

liars.

so we went to the mamak with my sis, kyle and gid. and... i'm giving such a detailed description.

if you're annoyed or bored now, you can go away. really.

and then went back to church. and then off we go. and that was at abt 7pm.

reached there at 9.

AND I DIDN'T SLEEP IN THE CAR!

we reached there, and it was pitch black. and then there was this thinggggg moving around and IT WAS A DOG :D yep.

there were 5 dogs that belonged to the campsite people. including a sexy dalmatian :)

and they would basically accompany you everywhere.

sigh. i love love dogs. or anything big, fluffy and affectionate.

the dorms were good, toilets good, weather good, sessions good, food good.

bugs not good.

at night we also played monopoly deal. where i won a round. i am osm.

we went to jongker street the next evening. and kinda late too. till all the famous cendol stalls closed already. in the end we just had this durian cendol, which was pretty osm too you know?

sat in terence's car on the way back. reached home in one hour. you can imagine how fast.

went home abt 9.30.

yeah. fun loh.

then went to school and saw all you osm people :) i can't believe i went all three days. didn't skip any days.

well. got another exam schedule. so so tiring. :(

i realized i always had an excuse my entire form 4 and form 5 year for doing badly in every exam.

form 4 first exam, i can blame it on mssd and training, and well, everything being totally new. next exam, i can blame it on prefect retirement stuff, and i don't remember what, but i was always busy...

and by the august exam i was already lost. and still had more prefect stuff. same for finals.

by prefect stuff, i mean all that stupid event planning, and yes, it was alot.

and form 5, first exam, same lah. mssd, training, and more events.

the killer double mid-year? hari kantin and other stuff.

and the trials that just passed? i blame it entirely on the talent search.

yeah.

all that, plus i'm not smart. i'm not stupid, though.

and i also have bad time management.

so now? next exam? jps trials.

what can i say to that?

maybe i can say it is a cumulative of everything. i mean, if i miss out on my studies periodically, i'm sure i can say i am very handicapped?

why not?

can you imagine doing everything did and still keep up good grades?

what puzzles me more is how you can actually do worse than me given all those unmissed classes, and more time to study.

okayla, i'm being abit self righteous lah. i didn't do all that much, and there are prolly alot more people doing more than i do.

but still.

sigh. this time i can't have any excuses okay. i'm gonna use the next 2 weeks well. it doesn't feel anything like a holiday at all.

grr.

stupid plants vs zombies.

love!

there goes.

i suddenly realized i need to, i mean i should update this space before i head off to malacca tmr :)

i had a great weekend. of course :)

i wo OMG there is this HUGE, FLYING COCKROACH right next to me at the curtain thingy and i was like thinking what sound is that? and i looked and i looked and i saw it and i bet my soul ran faster than my actual body to the living room, and my dad dutifully killed it.

anyway.

i woke up late again on saturday. :) i would have gona tracting, but i couldn't get up :(

i bothers me how much free time i actually have if i don't study. i am at this spot or at the spot in front of the tv most of the time.

saturday i didn't go out at all, except to church and dinner.

i like that okay.

this morning i went out with jess, mae, aski, and steph for breakfast :) i wish faya could be there with us though. WHY DIDN'T WE TAKE PICTURES.

and then church :) and then lunch. and whole day home again.

you must think i'm such a moron for having such low standards, i mean, barely doing anything and calling it an awesome weekend. well, church itself is great :) there's alot of awesomeness packed into those 5 letters, and when i say church, i do mean SUPEROSMNESS.

tmr is gonna be a long day though.

since i can't (CANNOT) go to school tmr, because you are all lazy pigs, and charmaine's driving exam is tmr (GOOD LUCK BABY!), i am going out with jess.

i love her so much more when she can drive :) hehe.

she's gonna be here at like, 8 in the morning. and then all the way till about 4 or 5. where we all meet up at church. and then go for dinner, and then to malacca.

yup.

:)

i'll tell more when i come back.

remind me to charge camera.

laura, go and charge the camera.

in fact, go away, and start packing nao.

after some bejeweled.

latest 12 am okay?

after the cockroach stops twitching.

and come back when all the games are finished, to check your fantasy premier league.

charge your phone!

okay.

:)

and my stupid htc is very stupid.

the whole weekend had been traumatizing because i had apparently no service.

okayla, don't exaggerate, not traumatizing, but terribly inconvenient. i couldn't send or receive ANYTHING, and my battery died within 6 hours on a full charge.

anyway. it had a virus lah that's all.

but i had an incredible episode of self pity on saturday night. because it annoyed me so much that every phone i ever had was a hand me down. yup. from sister. from auntie. from daddy. i never actually had MY OWN phone.

and every second hand or third hand phone (yeah...) had some sort of hidden dysfunction that only comes alive when I'm using it. it rebels and repels me and my sim card.

i didn't wanna be grumpy. i know just having a phone is a great privilege. and hello? postpaid! i don't have to buy my own credit, and i have absolutely limitless service.

and the htc is already a good upgrade. i mean, a windows mobile 6.0 (thats and old version btw) a touch screen, GPRS, wifi, SOLITAIRE :D, and i dunno..stuff lah...

and it's already better than most of your phones. so shut up laura shut up.

anyway now it's fixed cause my dad reset the whole thing.

that means my old texts and reminders are gone.

and that stupid 10 alarms i was complaining about? is now on a thirty day trial.

argh.

fyi, though, i am GOING to get a new phone. after SPM.

i am not spoilt.

shush.

malacca!

malakah!

melaka!

yahhhh!

seriously, have you guys googled spaghatta nadle yet or what?

love.

all we are.

hey now :)

my exam's over :) for now. yay :)

how do i enjoy? hmm.

after every exam i drag my parents to eat at mien tui mien. which is a pan mee shop :) there's one near asia cafe, but it's always crowded and parking's a mess, so we go to the one at sunway, near the one academy.

not to say it has the best pan mee around, i just like the chilli there. it's incredibly salty and spicy, and i go through it like water. there's more of it in my bowl than actual noodles. and then i burn a hole in my stomach lining.

i went, but the standard is decreasing fast.

and there's always new, foreign workers there, and my dad gets confused easily. and then confuses them. about the menu stuff, and they get a bit scared, and my dad more confused, then i just pffftttt at everyone and write down the orders myself. it's not nice.

so one day i've got to like hit and run that place. hit as in steal a tub of their chilli, and run as in get into your car with no license plate.

yahhh.

i ahm going to malacca next week too :D yahh! :)

with jess! and whoever else is going!

yahhh. :)

i didn't go to school today. i thought i would be more efficient you know.

like cook breakfast for myself. clean my room. clear my clothes. organize my notes. blog. download songs.

i didn't do anything.

firstly, the weather is too hot. makes you angry and irritable.

secondly, breakfast? what breakfast? cook in the morning? i don't think you should handle anything fire related when you just woke up.

and UGH. i hate ants. i HATE ants. dear God, i know You made them for a purpose, but i don't like them AT ALL.

cause the lazy alternate to cooking, is cereal and milk.

fresh, cold, low-fat milk? check.

colorful bowl? check.

donald duck mini-spoon? check.

healthy appetite? check.

cereal? UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

usually i am very cautious about my cereal. because it is resealable, i always make sure i don't leave crumbs on the top, and make sure it's tightly closed.

at first, it looked great. still tight and spotless. i open it, and there. are. ants. a. lot. of. ants. inside.

THEY BIT THEIR WAY THROUGH COMMERCIAL PLASTIC!

wth? i think my house alone has taught ants to evolve and adapt. do you know that big black ants can stay alive totally underwater? they keep a bubble around their spiracles, and walk around underwater like they're fish-ants, or fints. fants. fiants.

and that cereal is expensive! i'm the only freak in my family that likes cereal with milk. that cereal is expensive in the can-only-buy-from-places-like-cold-storage-or-jaya-grocer kind of expensive.

argh. i got so angry. and freaked out.

so i drank chocolate milk instead.

bad choice, drinking a large amount of cold stuff.

i got the cramps of death for the whole day after that.

it will paralyze me and i make funny faces. and then i begin to wish i was a boy. sigh :(

thirdly, the tv and computer also paralyze me.

fourthly, i am a naturally lazy person.

ta-da!

you know what was nice though?

my alarm woke me up at 6.20 as it does everyday, only today i off-ed it, with a smile :)

usually, i snooze till 6.40. and since it's a stupid touch screen, i have to be careful what i press. i might like, spontaneously start a game of bejeweled or something.

and then i also finally found a non-annoying alarm tone.

i used to hate my old nokia phone, cause it only has stupid pop-tone alarms in ascending volume. it induces pure hatred, and annoyance, and is probably why i "drop" my phone so often.

well, the new htc has better alarm options. of course, i mean, :)

for one, it does not ascend.

it is an option, i mean, for those deaf and dead as a log sleepers that couldn't wake up even if a bomb exploded next to them.

so of course i chose NOT ascending. its just a simple mp3 file.

ah, but what song do i pick?

this weirdo phone gives me seven, yes, SEVEN different alarms to set. why would i need 7?

so they all basically are set to 6.20am, or 4 pm. but all with different tones.

i took my time to experiment.

for awhile it was bieberlicious with somebody to love, but the intro after awhile sounded like ninininininiinininiinininini so no.

then it was quietdrive's time after time, which was nice, but too fast and loud.

then danity kane's ride for you piano intro, which was nice also, but i just can't wake up to it.

there's also coldplay's shiver. which actually ascends by itself! yeee.

and then avril lavigne's anything but ordinary, but its too short, and i actually have to hear her sing.

and glee's halo/walking on sunshine, but again, it was too fast, and too short.

and then alicia keys's(s?) try sleeping with a broken heart. which was nice at first. but after while it was like a transformer in slow mo. you know?

THEN I FOUND IT!

the acoustic version of gavin degraw's chariot. it's slow, soft, transitions to a piano, and when he sings, it's still nice.

:D

this is a very long post.

please forgive any grammar/spelling errrors. my brain works faster than my fingers and cannot wait for them to catch up.

BAI.

EDIT: wait! wth! it's TEN alarms! 10! why do i need ten?????? D: