Pick Me

Saturday, July 14, 2012

you don't say that tomorrow.


as each day passes i can point out the very obvious flaws that seafield has right. well, there are a few things which impress me, that my biasness can sometimes allow me to let go.

which is, their christian fellowship :)

first things though, i'm going to sound really cynical and probably Pharisaical and shallow in my opinions. but i will try to justify myself.

even as a Christian, i've never had a good impression of cfs in general, and in relation, the yearly subang rally. the concept of it of course is good, and i get it, but somehow i never really had a heart for it. and u12 didn't really have a proper cf, and i thought that was such a shame, but i can't say much lah, i didn't really support the committee when i could, except for like, one gathering. and the one year when i was 14 i think, when i went for rally.

from what i could gather, my impression of it all was really bad. i felt like it was very pretentious, and more of a social event to meet people, and very elitist. i understand that i cannot expect a church like level of commitment and organization, but then that's where it gets dangerous. 

who's to say who's qualified to be in the committee or not? anyone can pull of being nice and well mannered (most of the time), but they could be spiritually dead inside and you wouldn't know it. just as long as you're a bit more popular and outgoing helps too. leading a young group of people who are so impressionable is something that no one should take lightly. at least have a decent testimony right? i know it's a lot of pressure to keep your testimony well, but then it's a responsibility you have to bear if you want to commit. 

i've heard comm members swearing (intentionally!), having dramatic and sour friendships and relationships, and breaking way too many school rules. and with me already trying to be understanding, what more are other people going to think?

and the rally? might just be another social event you have to 'be' at. the morning session i cannot say, i've never been, so it might be awesome, i don't know :) but the night one, i honestly would just go for the worship session. only because it's louder and more hyped up than allowed in my church. and also, honestly, just to see other people. yeah. heeh :)

i can be blamed for all those things above as well, i know, i mean, i can only say so much but i know the respective committees did try their best. they just have to have more accountability as well. and i'm not condemning those who do attend, it's my opinion. if you do find it helps then go ahead, but for me, it just raises a lot more questions rather than helping me answer them.

and i do think they make a great impact, i just hope it's not just a surface thing. and actually, it's better than not putting in any effort at all i know. :)

well, seafield's cf is helping me to slowly change my mind. :)

really, being able to sing and worship in school is an awesome experience. and sometimes lah, the comm really impresses me. and the fact that they have prayer every morning is cool too. :)

sometimes it's a bit unprepared and immature-ish, but i'm guess it's because i'm old and unrelatable :(

i think i small reason as well is that the day of the 09 rally, was the day my granpa passed away.

so july 11th was the 3rd year anniversary of my beloved granpa's death. i is miss him very muchos.

Monday, July 2, 2012

it's hard to believe we are magic.

form 6 IS fun. and then some.
i've just finished my MUET speaking test, and as i always am after every exam, i am quite confident it was okay (even though it might have been the total opposite)

i'm always thankful for my groupmates, annalie, calista and yee fung, that we're all very comfortable around each other, never a single uncomfortable or awkward moment. why am i being so sappy? because small things throw me off easily and to have such a no problem group, you know, not too serious, not serious enough, always having one or members missing etc. is really an awesome thing. :)

it is now over. and sigh, muet is my only saving grace in convincing my form mates that i'm not brain dead. i think. because my results are so bad, despite my hard work. you see? i probably didn't work hard enough, but i'm narcissistic enough to believe that i have. and my laid-backness seems more like a curse than a gift.

well moving on!
joseph was back for awhile, and johanna's still here. hehe :) though, richard and kids just left, and when louisa leaves i'm gonna be a bit of a wreck. D:

and the euro's just ended. my life can resume as normal once more. staying up for almost every game, i could literally feel the effect's of the lack of sleep. sort of like a personal experiment, see how far i could go. it wasn't that bad actually.

1. one hour sleep for a day (2 to 3 consecutive days) - ridiculously tired after that one hour, but after i reach school, very energetic and hyper till about 2 or 3, then tired, but not sleepy

2. one hour sleep for a day (day 4) - still energetic in the morning, crashing by 10 or 11, sleepy, and tired

3. sleep before and after match, abt 3 hours sleep - tired the whole day, sleepy whenever left alone

4. others - more susceptible to flus, pimples, backaches, headaches

5. unnecessary stress and worry from fantasy football

i think there's more, but gah it's over, no russia, no holland (nuts), no england, no germany. 
i refuse to want to support spain as a whole team, because i still find it ridiculous that half of them come from madrid, and half of them from barca. it's no wonder they're so good, they play together so often!! of course there's torres, and silva lah, but i'm talking about that defense and midfield. and omagah ramos looks a x1000000 times better with short hair. and supporting spain is so mainstream anyway, i have a habit of supporting underdogs. italy don't count, because i just don't like them. heh.

however, i allow myself to continue supporting fabregas, and casillas is still my most favorite keeper in the world. 

i don't know if i ever manage to turn off or disinterest guys due to my intense consumption of football. i hope not. i know i turn off some girls already. :/

on to more serious matters!!

lol next time. i think that's enough for today.