and it's 2008 all over again.

hey :) sorry! been busy with my lazyness and actual busyness... :) there's alot of things to post about, but i need to get this off my shoulders once and for all.

it's a redundant topic i know, but i just gotta let it out :)

my pmr & spm crew :)

so today was pmr results day for the form 3s. and it bothered me that a lot of people did well. why? because i am bitter about mine. still. i mean, really, congratulations for those who did, but i'm so jealous :(

:(

1. I KNOW it's been two years. but i'll remember the day i got my results. i was NOT happy. maybe to some people 6 A's is fine. but now, when you realize how easy it actually was, why on earth not one more A? stupid bm.

2. without trying to sound snobbish :D, i know i'm smart. i am! i put in effort for that stupid exam, but still didn't get what i expected. i mean, when most of your peers get straight A's, it feels like crap. and you feel like you're not as smart as them.

3. then to make things worse, they segregate students by straight A scorers, and non-straight A scorers. wth. so basically, at first i felt even more left out and jealous and ough. rah.

4. and then people come and tell you that you did fine. six A's is good enough, well babes, it's not, until now i still feel that way. and then when people found out that i wasn't happy with my results, they tell me, it's okay, not bad you know, 6 out of 7, and be all pitiful on me. disgusting.

5. then parents want to reward me. sure. reward mediocrity. and i have to half-heartedly accept it. and then everytime i look at my rm400+ elle watch (chehhhh :D) i only feel sad :(

HOWEVER.

it's important i remind myself that i should be happy with what i got.

1. it led my to an AMAZING class with amazing people that really made my last two years in high school absolutely perfect :) 5E made me meet with debbie, adeline and amanda :) and the rest of you all lah ;) and i love those people so much :) and it really was a different group of friends that i really really appreciate :)

2. it made me work harder for SPM. and hello, i just finished high school. SPM dictates your future, not pmr. and it's time i let it go.

3. i slowly learnt how to be content with what God has given me. it wasn't easy. at times i was really unhappy with God, cause i put in a lot of hard work, and i thought i deserved it more than some people whom i know didn't put in much work and just got lucky. but all in all, that one B led me to other paths, and i'm glad it did.


okay so far more cons than pros, but still i'll be okay i guess.

there's so much more to life than good results. you can be a real smarty pants, but you miss out all the fun in life. or you can have too much fun, and miss out on a good future.

i am truly happy that i have a lot of both, and whatever i get for spm, i'll know that i'll be okay.