unfinished business.

retirement? i thought you already retired?

haha. i know some people do try their best to ignore prefects.

so i'm officially retired as a prefect, with the excuse for us to focus on our studies.

although its more like, enjoy your last few months in high school without teachers breathing down your neck.

we're still held responsible for our actions though, do anything outrageous, and you lose that precious cert that'll make you kick yourself for being a prefect in the first place.

i used to have great respect and admiration for the prefect board, and the seniors prior to us. obviously, standards have decreased, and i think prefects are now stereotypically what you think they are.

faceless robots, that study too much, and think they're so cool, when they're not.

hey whatever, i may be like that too, but we're losing our relatability to the average student.

P.R skills fail. absolute fail. and we have no more creative drive.

and they even changed the camp policy from torture mode, to full on baby mode.

in camp, you have to be pushed. not pampered around like babies.

er.

i don't really hate the board that much lah, i just wish it was better. even I don't respect it anymore, what more everybody else?

but good luck to the new board though, tan jia rou and eugene lai :) i am proud everytime i see you do your duties :)

i did alot for this stupid board.

when i was a normal prefect in form 3, i used to be very stressed up over duties. and i actually followed the rules.

i hated being a pelatih the most.

the seniors scared me, camp scared me, i had a bad discipline record, the world's most boring interview, i was doing my duties badly, dunno why why why they picked me.

i hate jaga-ing classes, i hate jaga-ing gate 2, and angkat beg.

form 4 was cool, when they picked the board, i loved the day i got my post, just like the day i retired ;)

overall i did last year's talent search with xin li, the retirement booklet (stressed like crazy), camps, interview form 4 pelatihs, prefect t-shirt, twelvean's unmasked, and alot more i can't remember.

my last contribution was the twelveans unmasked. i sweated it out, and made alot of money for this school. and my reward? er. a hi-tea with my five heng dai's on sunday. lol.

i like that the prefect board was good medium for me to:

- make alot more friends ( you'd be surprised the people you yell at actually become friends with you ) and close friends

- learn PR skills, leadership skills, admin skills

- experience things other students don't

- befriend teachers (shut up)

- learn the school system

- learn responsibility

- contribute creatively

- i love the gray uniform

i will never understand why us retired prefects have to sit in the dataran. like, we're put on a pedestal when you encourage us to be like normal students already.

goodbye to my blazer, my locker :( , early recesses with no need to line up, prefect room, prefect room stuff, access to school computers for no reason, walking around school skipping classes, responsibilities.

hello to more time studying, more time in class, spending recess with my girls, coming later to school, by like, 20 minutes, spotchecks D: .

there's still prefect dinner ;)

ps: i got my first demerit since form 3 that day. nails.

dear charmaine,

happy 17th birthday :) i've known you for 5 years now, and although i have friends that i know longer than that, you are my bestest friend and every day that i get to see you, i am very blessed :)

you know i can tell you anything, and you're my very own personal therapist. i know i tell you useless and maybe sometimes annoying and boring things, but you never fail to listen to me :)

i know it's unrealistic to believe we can be best friends forever, but i sure hope we give it our best shot ;) and i know where you live. and there's facebook. and i know your hp and house number by heart, so i can stalk if you forget me :)

we can be friends till we grow up, and i guarantee you a bridesmaid spot on my wedding day :) and you can be an auntie to my kids :D and we will tell them stories about us :D

if its possible, i think you know about every person in my life, and you know who's important to me and who i love. you have known about every guy in my life, and that, is an awesome feat do you know that?

and can you believe we actually sat through 15 consecutive mind numbing scrabble games together? hehee.

everyday i wish i could spend more time with you, and when i get busy with my prefect stuff i only think about you :) and if i had more money charmaine, i would spend it all on you... i owe you 20 bucks...

you make me happy, and i'll try my best to continue to reciprocate every good thing you do for me :)

scott scott scott scott scott scott scott scott HOUDINI scott scott scott scott scott

Twelveans Unmasked: During

pictures by ng yew ming.

"it's already 8, why aren't we starting?"

malaysians, have no sense of time. 7.30, does not mean 8.

so, we started late, and were 40 minutes of schedule. and nothing we could do about it either except, worry.

i actually had nothing much to do again that night, as long as everything was going fine. so i helped out at the guest entrance taking ticket stubs and stickering. hehe :)

what annoyed me was the junior to senior ratio. stupid. only juniors would pay for platinum and vip seats. and seniors? well. most of them were helping out in some dept. anyway.

when it started to get dark, i was quite impressed by the lights. i was never happy with the stage though. too small. but heck, it worked out :)

first performance was by en.shuhily, and then a performance by the finalists on if we ever meet again. which was kinda cool, to me :)

i mean, the whole night i was smiling wide and singing along in the uh 'backstage' area. and sweating too. bucketloads. it. was. hot.

performances were awesome, just that in the beginning the crowd was so dead, and unsporting.

i guess after they ate, and morning session started to perform, then it got better :)

i went to see my explorians at lvl 1, because i was kinda free, and i thought fatty, adeline and panda looked osm :) the guys, boleh tahan lah.

the food was lame, i wish i was the one to decide on the menu. i ate with them, what, i was hungry, and tired.

i wished all the Nova bandmates goodluck ;) before their turn, they were really nervous, esp. oliver... but when they performed it was kinda epic :)

because, they're all my friends and i love each and every one of em, and they worked hard for this.

before the results were announced, i wanted to anticipate and wait with fatty and adeline. it was hard to find them -_-

but when Nova won, i was like AAAHHHHH and adeline screamed with me. in the platinum section and everyone was looking at us funny. and we went to congratulate them.

hugs :) everyone was sweaty. super sweaty.

and took pictures like nobody's business.

things i was happy about:

1. the lighting was so colorful! :)

2. the sound was okay...

3. contestants were osm

4. performers were osm

5. afiq and harvinth, also osm :)

6. you could see people enjoying themselves

7. i also really loved the 'i love rock and roll' moment. hello? our school just doesn't get to do stuff like that, and we did. and we had our very own mosh pit. i didn't go up though, i just wanted to watch other people have fun :)

8. fatty, adeline, panda came. and charmaine came too, at the last minute she decided to. with her around, i was much calmer.

9. alot of people complimented me :D

things i WASN'T happy about:

1. the lighting was also bad because we didn't have a spotlight..and sometimes you couldn't see who was performing and who was just collateral

2. the pa had alot of technical problems too, which was very potong sometimes

3. i thought harris should have won for afternoon session :(

4. i should have worn heels

5. security wasn't very good towards the end. people without tickets snuck in, and i know we are all desperately seeking attention on the inside, you don't have to stand on a table like drunken noob attracting death stares from pn teo okay.

6. the lame food. and the drinks weren't even enough! makes me wonder how much we actually paid the caterers.

7. didn't get to take pictures with everyone

i'll keep posting later.

ps: i know this stuff may bore you to tears, but again, this is for future reference.

;)

my eye is swollen again.

ogre.

Twelveans Unmasked: Before

pictures by ng yew ming.

was it all worth it?

the work started in the morning, i was at school by 9.30. i pasted labels, checked labels, kept admiring the pa system.

i actually didn't do much, but i felt better being there, knowing i was being helpful :)

went home at 12. the contestants were coming at 1, but sigh, i ate a long lunch and it was expensive too. i mean, i knew sang har mee might cost a little more than your average 4.50 coffee shop meal, but i mean, it was 25 bucks! i didn't even know till it came.

but my mom was cool about, cause she said i deserved it. :)

back in school at 2.30, i watched contestants, emcees, and performers do a run through. pn.lucille actually isn't that bad lah, and i watched sue-en go nuts.

and believe me, the weather was insane. i mean, it could have been worse. the anticipation was scary. it was hot, okay good, to dry off the storm that drenched my stage the night before. then a slight drizzle.

i prayed. alot. for it to not rain. i mean, as part of the Dear Jesus, please let this event run smoothly amen. thing.

went off at 4.30, to go home and get dressed. a short nap too. and some food.

i thought i looked the bomb :) and my hair osm :) i looked abit wabbelig in the dress i know, and i don't have the legs to pull off those flat shoes, but i felt comfortable and happy.

came at 6.30, watched the waiters, security, floor management team, and welcoming committee buzz about. they looked fabulous :) and my million thanks to them.

as people were coming in, i got more excited because, well, you don't see stuff like that happen in this school :) and we prepared well for this, for a first-timer, and i hear that its better than some night events held by other schools.

ah. well. :)

tell you more tmr. ;)

if we ever meet again.

bye ungs :)

hello!

tmr is the big day!

the day i spent 2 and a half weeks slaving over!

the one i let my studies die for!

the one i miss i all my classmates for!

the one i stay back in school till the wee hours for!

its going to be over :D

i am actually quite calm, cause by now, all the prefects are doing their own part, and although i'm in charge over everything, i know they won't fail me. and if they do, i won't see it coming, and it'll be too late! you already paid for your tickets!

i have to be there about 9-4 tmr. then maybe i go to church first, cause i want to... and then back at 6 with osm possum dress, hair etc etc. no heels though, if i am to be running around all the time.

on monday, normality will hit me hard on the head. weeks long overdue homework.

at the end of the day, everyday, for these few weeks. i have always asked myself what do i get out of this? is it worth the sacrifice of my time and energy? i don't know.

what i do know is, i've never settled for insignificance. i simply can't stand doing nothing to contribute to something and being just another face in the crowd. how can you?

in every area of my life i've had a position that places me higher, in terms of position and responsibility, among others. don't count primary school can? my early brain development was fail.

form 1, i think its a big achievement if you were chosen as ketua or penolong loh. i mean, wey, these people barely know you! so i was penolong.

don't count form 2 either, i was going through, a 'phase'.

then form 3, well, the simplest way to be any other student, is to be a prefect.

then in 365 also, i was given more responsiblity. and form 4, erm, i was very important to the prefect board loh i think. i did alot.

and this year as well.

i like to know i'm important.

but somehow, it takes a certain group of people that make me want to just fade in the background, and enjoy their company, and at that moment, i don't have to be important, having these people with me is enough.

especially when you're stressed or tired.

like my explorians :) thats why i like passing by to see them :) they make me happy. and just seeing them laugh and joke together really makes me smile, even if i'm not there myself.

like that stupid 11 minute video at taylors? it may be boring to you, but i love :D

oh, and my cell girls too! :) mae, jess, faya, aski, jamie and the rest.

friends forever? cliched, but meaningful at the least.

BAI :D

love is many splendid thing.

impresionante.

well. they lost. but i wasn't sad, because i got to see fabregas :)

he is like a mythical creature to me :) my darling, my one and only, i melt at the sight of him :)

so when he came on, he was amazing. he totally changed the game and did more than alonso could ever do. i dunno why they don't play him so often.

and only he could stay calm under pressure and make that perfect pass to iniesta.

holland disappointed me though. they were too predictable, and robben kept running down the same wing. and v.persie, only knows how to fall.

so now it's over, and i cannnotttt wait for the premier league to start wey. games every weekend, with players you really know and love, and in red and white, and :) ah. so nice :)

go join the fantasy premier league too! :D

anyway :)

this week, believe it or not, was busier than last week. busier, but less stressful.

monday morning, duh everyone was super tired watching the finals. and half the class didn't come. but whatever, they have no jobs, responsibilities or obligations. *evil stare*

i run around doing nonsense every day lah. slips, booking the hall, finding keys, handling prefects stuff, the layout, tickets, LIGHTINGS, p.a., contestants, dealing with teachers, finding people, and all the small things in between.

i don't know why i bother bringing books to school anyway. my academic life does not exist anymore. next week la next week.

and what annoys me also, is that some people don't even know that i'm in charge of this! wth. i'm the kind of person that needs recognition lo. whatever. i want a gold star pin for this :)

and i didn't get into ns.

i want to, i dunno why you noobs don't want. its not a waste of time okay. its a good experience, and you get money anyway -_-

oranje.

here goes nothing holland :) play well okay! pls nobody injure yourselves, esp v.persie.

don't be runner's up again, be world champions!

:D i'll be there for you! one of the most important games in your life, pls tapao.

and spain, sigh, my ex-lover. as long as fabregas doesn't come on, and casillas doesn't shave, i won't be heartbroken if i see you lose.

i just love holland more kay?

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

another one bites the dust.

i finally finished up with glee :) and its okay je lah. not spectacularly epic.

guess how thursday went! guess! really!

i spent the whole day changing this and that on the tickets. and looking for people to help me look for people. sigh. tired :(

and you NOOBS i dont friend you all. you know i don't know anything about anything that happens. so i hear about rimup, and nobody tell me it wasn't for explorer?

wth. at least i had a great time with charmaine, and a uh, friend ;)

wasted time though. and then at tuition. haha teacher got us dominoes yo :)

friday, i managed to sit in for two periods of add maths. then busy adi.

i went to the edufair thing though. lucky.

i have yet to read any of the gazillion brochures and magazines that i took from there.

i honestly don't know what to do. for my future.

heh.

i also have this lame eye infection thing. it hurts. and makes my left-eye swollen. and i feel sleepy and tired all the time. sigh.

not like i've been having enough rest and sleep anyway.

and then today! :)

i had to go supervise band practice in school today.

wth we all know i'm only there for nova, bias or not, i love them.

that was at 7.30

first time i wore like that to school. i wore the koku shirt, but with like shorts and flipflops and didnt tie my hair at all. i just woke up and went like that. haha.

i didn't know pn teo would come! but she did, but she didn't say anything about that, so :) haha.

and then i went home. SU-ANN's BACK! :D

and i watched some glee, and changed. then jess picked up for the first time yo!

just the two of us. ahhh. my best friend now drives! hehe. and we went to cineleisure to watch eclipse. okaylah, but the leng chai from the trailer dies in the end lah. sigh :(

and then to church. so i'm kinda tired now. and bm seminar tmr? 10 hours kononnya. sleepy.

i hope i don't fall asleep there tmr.

tmr (Sunday) is also the 1 year anniversary of my yeh yeh's death :(

i can't believe one year already passed.

i miss him so much :(

if i look back chronologically from the month he was first diagnosed till his death, my biggest regret is not spending more time with him.

my granpa was a great man, and i missed out on learning more about his exciting life.

i think losing someone you love makes you feel the pain of loss alot more.

i cry the most at movies when a loved one dies, or leaves. i think i can't handle it well now.

even my sister leaving made me teary. its like one moment you were just going on with life, and next, the very air you breathe feels emptier, and all you feel is regret.

sigh :(

didn't mean to make you feel sad, if you are.

gnite darls.

see you guys soon?

effervesence.

boo. hello.

so. i've. been. busy. and quite unhappy about it lah :(

last friday was a busy day. i was barely in class also, and rushing to do my twelveans unmasked work. and then a stewpid firedrill. stewpid.

then i walked back to school for captain ball! we lost to finnix, but whatever. had so much fun.

and i heard there's a rematch tmr, so wth, lose again la sure.

since we lost first round, me, kong, eu mun, jx and zach went to ma court. cheh not mine, the one behind my house there lah. so fun :)

and then they all took my 100 plus and shandy :( and then we went to the park to uh, do nonsense :)

then after church that night, i went to watch holland vs brazil with gideon, faya, irving, joe, adrian yap, ryan, paul, clement and nick. i was so nervous for that game :) but the dutch were the osm :) i was yelling alot.

then at 12.30 giddy dropped me off at maegan's house. sleptover with nat, steph and my sis.

and the next morning we made breakfast, and had a swim :) and lunch. and church. we were exhausted man.

at night, no, i lazy to go for rally, and you know my reasons lah, so i had a quiet night doing well, more twelveans unmasked nonsense, and a good rest :)

sunday was rather weird too. cause we dropped jie off at UM. :( i'm so lonely at home nao. i can't take it.

monday, i barely went to class again. really. count all the lessons i miss, or am going to miss. i might as well drop out now and go for event management.

tuesday was taylor's class trip babeh. morning was a mad rush of work first though, and then i was like, whatever and hopped on my freedom bus :) sat with oliver :D :D

pictures on fb loh. had fun :) it's like hotel there la. the lakeside campus. all that money....

came back at 1.30, we skipped EST and stayed in class till, 2.30? and then i stayed to do, well, more work, and went home at 6. tuition was at 7 -_-

i came home and finished up my work, and i was so tired.

and i woke up for holland vs uruguay too. tireeddd.

today was the worst. i mean, the most tired of all. i slept, but rudely awakened by more work, i finished my maths though, even today's one, so that next week i wont be held up.

because next week is going to be crazy.

i am even more super invincible nao. i can't get fired or suspended from school. if they dare, this talent search is going down! haha.

but obviously i won't, literally for goodness' sake.

sigh.

i realized, that 3 of my favourite wc teams are holland, spain and germany, and that they are all, well, in the finals and semi finals lah. and i'm not saying that just cause they are there already lah.

did you know germany was the first ever football team i supported? i watched theiropening game in the home country in the 06 wc, and i have loved football ever since :)

i have always loved podolski and lahm, and back then i was a big fan of lehmann. and now i'm a big fan of neuer. i have a thing for german keepers :)

so germany = introduced me to good football, keepers, nostalgia.

lehmann led me to arsenal too :)

arsenal = van persie = holland

holland is generally a good, hardworking team, and at first were considered underdogs.

and omg sexy orange :)

they're my no.1 team nao :)

then arsenal = fabregas = spain

but i loved spain during the euro 2008. i watched all their matches :) and they play the BEST football. the best.

but i don't love them as much now, cause fabregas is only a sub. come on lah, he can do better than navas and mata and even torres. why on earth is he on the bench! and they all look more stuck up nao too. and 1-0 matches? not attractive anymore.

so i'm pretty neutral about ger vs esp, but whoever wins, i will be yelling my lungs out for holland :)

dear su-ann chien. i miss you. when you coming back. why never come online. or sms me. make any good friends yet? hot guys? what subject did you pick? how's da food? sleeping well?

i'm lonely :( i cried for you. you know i need to tell you what happens in school every day. miss your cooking. i'm using your earrings.

despicable.

pretty :)

hey buddies :)

tomoro is open day, and my sis is coming with me instead of my parents. i don't know if its okay or not, but its gonna be awkward with pn.regina man.

today was the first free day i had since last week, so i celebrated by eating garlic bread and tau sa pneah? for lunch. its not really a comprehensive meal i know, but wth, i was happy :)

i also used my sister's nu laptop, and well, literally i used it on my lap-top. hehe?

and slept at 4-6. superosm nap. and then i woke up and did some proposal editing (ma auntie called me up personally for it yo!) and some of my add maths project.

and lots. of. bejeweled. my score tapaos!

about wc, i still don't understand why they didn't play fabregas again ya know? they say the midfield is full wth but still! wasted. and i hope he gets a hint that this is how life will be in barcelona if he moves there. he will be forever overshadowed by xavi and iniesta. noob!

bla bla they won and next with paraguay. unfair cause holland is against brazil D:

i wan watch on friday. kay?

i'm going to mae's house on friday too! yeay :D

sigh :)

everyday, i thank God for all my friends and my family.

i have good friends in every part of my life that i love and trust :)

firstly, there's charmaine. my best friend since st.6 and we know almost everything about each other and she's got so much common sense yet is crazy too :) and she accepts my rapping! :D hahaha. and she is the only one that knows about all the guys in my life, whether or not she has met them or know how they look like. hiyah!

then there's...ooh. jess :) she's been my friend since forever, but since last year, i think, she's like my soulmate, not in the way that we're meant for each other but in they way that its so easy to be myself around her. and she doesn't judge at all. and she can drive nao :D :D

and mae-gan :D she's my lemony best friend too and she's insane and never boring. she brings out the child in me. blame her for all the rapping yo. i've only known her for like a year or two, but we've already bonded so mucho :) and she calls me chienster?

and una and aski. i don't really see them alot nowadays, but they've been my best friends since we were 6, and over the years we've been through so much :) and we just start where we left off.

then there's the crazy slew of 365 buddies like faya, jeannie, joyce, johanna, and (danielle!) whoever more. they're the kind of friends that are so easy to love and you know that if anything's wrong, they'll be there for ya :)

i'll do more tmr.

haha. why so sentimental today? lol. i'll tell you tmr.