Immovable objects

Have I ever been the type to be paranoid, sensitive and insecure? Maybe, when I was like 13, 14, 15 yrs old. and since then I think I've been doing okay. I explicitly try very much to not be those things and I thought to a certain extent I was pretty mature and that my character has been improving.

normally, i ask myself: why am I feeling like this? and I can honestly and objectively answer it to myself which helps me straighten out my feelings and then it will surely pass.

but now i do that and i'm still upset almost all the time.

and i guess it really comes down to feeling insecure about myself in some ways which i never thought i was. 

my confidence in this aspect of myself must have been based on very unstable foundations. and i guess it links itself amongst my current dilemmas.

and what about emotions that don't just linger but also get more distractedly stronger. and i feel like i'm going backwards.  

maybe i just don't like things changing. nobody does and people generally have a tough time with that don't they? i'm not crazy, these are valid concerns am i right?

also, my pride refuses me to talk it through with anybody. fantastic joys of being me.