fire.

okay, i edited this, because i thought i really ought to post SOMETHING, because i'll regret later on for my own sake.

well, today, a 'special' few of us had to go to the mpb for a 'special' motivational talk on achieving our goals. and all that cliched stuff. really, it's so easy to say, and heck yes, i'd love to set these things you call targets and work hard and make schedules to study and sacrifice fun, well, it's easier said than done isn't it?

sitting there trying to project a mixed face of i-honestly-don't-care-about-what-you're-saying with interested-robot-face, i was wondering, how did i get myself here? i've never been in a position where my motivations were questioned. thinking about it, we're 19! we can think for ourselves, this talk isn't going to be a life-changing revolutionary wake up call okay.

they asked if we had motivation, that you'd push yourself every day, from the moment you get out of bed. and this year i have been resolving to do better. i ask God for strength to face another stressful, hot, tiring, and humid day, and that somehow i might even be productive from it. and then i go to sleep, thankful to God for helping me through another stressful, hot, tiring, and humid day without emotional scratches.

and that one day, i'd look back and realize how trivial, minute, and insignificant these moments of weaknesses are, when God has made my life a series of many wins and wonders.

so i'd say, God is main motivation. and i'm surprised by how uh, for lack of a better word, chilll, i've been about things that usually seek to press all my buttons.

i'm still deeply flawed, i hope you all know that i know that too. but it's okay if you don't love me on valentines day, because God loves me everyday. :)

i'm hungry, bye.

:D