always and forever.

:)

my online record is getting better :) that day i went two WHOLE days without coming online. liar! my phone got wi-fi. but at least there i only spend about a half hour, here is like 2 hours. 

this week, eh. i had a mini well, i don't want to say breakdown because it's so self pitying and exaggerated, but what else can i say. i managed to be in a bad mood every day this entire week. 

i'm not really the type to throw a tantrum or purposely distance myself from others just because i'm unhappy. don't like people who do. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

bad mood because i can't study and my future and mean people and bad news and pms and weird parents. there's so many things i'm unhappy about. 

and i really am thankful i have Charmaine :) and God. 

i graduate tmr. it would be much more emotional if it was the actual last day i'd be seeing everyone, but no, there's still about three weeks left of school + spm.

but i can't believe i'm form 5. cannot. high school is like so short. AH but i can't wait to leave either. shh.

anyway. this is just a short update cause i think i have to cut down more on internet usage. maybe like only wednesdays to download glee, fridays to update my fantasy league, and monday for highlights :D (if we win)

anyway. all that plus the time i will spend on my phone. yeah.

lazy lazy lazy lazy to study.

distractions.

sigh. ever since trials ended, i've not studied at alll.....

i always thought by around 50 days till spm, i'd be studying hardcore. like bring a book everywhere i go kinda thing. then the 50th day mark passed, in the midst of the jps paper, i thought, wtv, 30 days only i will start lah.

tmr is 31 days.

actually, studying should be simple. just pick up the book.

we can't do it because we have low attention spans. and lots of distractions.

we're students right? our purpose for our studying years is to study. i mean, you balance all that with having fun, and all that stuff.

so i get very discouraged when i realize that, some people actually don't study much, and despite thinking SPM is very important, it really actually isn't, and they think they care, but they don't.

the average student isn't born stupid. you study, and you improve. 

your grades show how hardworking you are, not how smart you are. and you can't evaluate intelligence based on malaysian-government-set exam.

demotivated? what an excuse.

well.

i am now, what do you call it, lazy. yeah. i sit down to study and my brain vomits inside.

dinosaurs:

1. COMPUTER :D

hey, orang zaman lepas spent their time climbing trees and slingshooting birds, we spend our time here.

the internet babeh, is the best thing ever. you spend hours on this thing, and when you finally get up to pee, you see the clock and go omg, but then you pee, drink water, and come back and do the same thing.

i'm trying a new diet. go online on alternate days only. it's kind of working. but sometimes i have to run past my computer just in case i 'accidentally' turn it on.

2. phone :)

yes. sometimes i really hate my htc. it is stupid. but besides having a whacked out system, it does have wifi, and opera mini or internet explorer. so i can go online :) and i have basic games like solitaire and bejeweled that never fails to entertain me. quite addictive too. imagine if i had a better phone. with lots of apps. i'd never study.

my dad's phone has unblock me. it's fun. i know sometimes you all think it's boring, but the only thing i can say back to you is, it's for smart people.

and android just recently released the full version of angry birds :) finger numbing, mind blowing.

3. football :D

hmm. how to give up football for studying. weekday games are in the crazy early mornings, so less sleep at night = more sleep in the afternoon = less time to study?

weekend games are okay...but if they are earlier in the night, it takes away two hours of studying.

and this is every week. what's worse is that i'm drawn to replays, highlights and reviews. and on the internet. my bookmarks toolbar has 5 football related sites.

4. sleep

i never had a biological clock. i only wake up when i have to. i never voluntarily wake up. i don't know how or why people get up at 8 on a holiday... i only wake up early to eat, study, pee or go out. nobody wakes up for fun. 

but i always sleep late. hmm. and in the afternoon, i sleep sometimes too. i guess. sleeping in school? zzzzzz.

5. stop asking me to go out :(

i'm also broke.

i know you all think haiya, one day few hours only ma, but then keep adding em up okay, and that is a lot. hiking!

all in all, it is basically procrastination.

sigh. just one more month.

my room is disgusting.

just like gravity.

i lafh caffah! :D

Sometimes my house is like a hotel. i go out the whole day, and i only come back to sleep.

I had a busy weekend. but the good kind of busy :) if there is such thing.

On friday, after EST, i went home and had the best sleep ever :) exam is really draining sometimes.

then at night after church, like, 9 of us went to mae-gan's for a sleepover :)
we watched A-team again, it was much more epic in the cinema, but still a good movie :)
i've never eaten so much junk in such a short time before.

nuts, oreo, chocolate, biscuits, chips, blahhhhhhhh and we burnt the microwave popcorn...

and then one round of monopoly deal, and slept -_- 7 of us on three mattresses spread out.

woke up around 9.30? and had pancakes! :) hehe. and then at 11, went for a swim. yeah. in the sun.
i am sunburnt nao :) and happy :)

came back, had spagatta nadles, a nap, and then to church.

but stopped by at mcD for milo mcflurry and mcShaker fries :)

then sunday, TEN TEN TEN :D

i had a bad dream where i was being chased AGAIN i always have dreams like that...

To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears (www.dreammoods.com)

nonsense?

well.
went to church, and then lunch at mcD again, YEAH more mcShaker fries babeh!

then to church again to wait for everybody. so meanwhile we played more monopoly deal. yes that's all we seem to be able to do, thank God for hasbro.

my four day weekend continues!

i declared monday a megaholiday :) i didn't allow myself to study, or go online. so all i did was watch tv, eat, and sleep. i was very happy.

and today, panda fetched me, fatty, oliver, jx, and rajiev to usj 20's kfc. met up with dog, adeline, and kantha.
er. it wasn't open, so we decided to go to the kfc at ss15.

why must we go to kfc? because adeline had RM40 worth of vouchers. so indirectly, she belanja us :D
chicken :D :D :D

and then supposed to go to snowflake, but well, it doesn't open till 1, so we went to AC to play pool.
i still suck at pool, but kantha so patient with me :) a real gentleman :) hehe. and then foosball...

er. i used to be really good at it. like, can tapao guys kind of thing. but then never really played much after that so i stopped, and i think i am noober than i could possibly be. so fun playing with the girls :)

and then panda sent me to tuition. i haven't been to tuition in like, a month, and i haven't seen my tuition buddies in a month, but yet it's like nothing's changed and it's so fun there :)

football deprived. school starts tmr.
:D

got news?

wow! consecutive updates! :)

i had lunch with charmaine today. my best friend. one of my very best friends.

i've known her for 5 years and i can't make it a day without thinking i need to see her or tell her things.

and we've got history.

and at lunch today, we saw our ex (supposedly) best friend. that we had problems with during std 6.

and i can't on earth remember why we were in spite anyway. that girl was annoying at most, what immaturity does it take to venge total war and ignorance on her at 12 years old??

besides her, i never really had alot of friend drama in my life. the second closest would be fighting over a guy, but now we laugh about how he wasn't worth it at all.

i never really got what people meant about being backstabbing or bitchy, i would risk saying nooo, none of my friends are like that at all. even in the past, and especially not now.

the only people i yell at are my immediate family, or... oliver.

the most heated argument i had was probably with my cousin when we were like, 6, because i hit him (VERY LIGHTLY) and he accused me of pinching and scratching him (what a wuss) because of something to do with... the tv remote or something like that.

i'd always picture fights and confrontations in my head like they were so cool and dramatic. but in real life, i'd probably have nothing witty to say anyway.

i think drama is so unnecessary.

last paper tmr babes! and then an awesome packed weekend ;D

if i could write to make you fall in love.

i'm back :)

since adeline was pestering me.

i had an internet fast for two days, as in two whole days. i've never been off that long since i can remember. i guess it is an unhealthy addiction, i remember i used to be able to keep off for around two weeks.

oh how little willpower have i.

i changed the layout too. something not so loud because, that's how i'm feeling now.

it's around a month or so left till SPM and oh how unprepared am i.

i definitely improved, my trials results were 7A's and 3B's. i wouldn't call that bad :)

but i was lucky. i'm like, bumbling through and shooting with my eyes closed. can't count on that for spm right....

SO :D

for the whole month that i didn't update... of course alot of things happened. and i can't really seem to remember it. i wish i took the time to just post SOMETHING.

what i remember is studying and studying and studying and i think we all have some godlike strength being able to go through all these exams.

i mean, upsr is over, pmr ends like next week. heyyy stilll got one month more for us....

and i might have to miss camp because of spm. i dunno.

i never miss camp.

well.

i have to go.

and hahaha, STUDY.

harry shum jr ;)