Back in the atmosphere

 Life is slowly improving, really slowly but it is not zero and it is not negative

Again, work is sucks etc etc

But today, i just want to post how much i miss my friends again. and holidays or simple airbnbs and really hanging out with them makes me feel like im in a pocket dimension, you know where the worries of the world cant touch me for awhile and i just have the fun

I cant recall if i ranted about this before but really its quite sad living the final years of my single life trapped at home for MCO

Its not like being married means i cant do everything, but things change. I feel i've always been a very independent person, and commitment or obligation to anything or anyone is tough. So maybe the past few years we can happily appreciate a low maintenance relationship. 

But i'm engaged, and gonna get married and literally it means two become one. i know post modernist thinking tells us we maintain our individualities and in a way we are two humans but it means so much more than that. I'm no longer accountable to just myself alone

When i was younger like of course i like boys like a normal teen/young adult but the moment there were more expectations or commitments required i would feel so burdened or bothered

Of course i've travelled miles in maturity to be where i am now, of course with the help of a great fiancee, who in certain ways also does benefit from a low maintenance relationship right

i think most people should generally keep some boundaries right but wow marriage is bigg

like its all out there, i cant hide or just think about myself

anyway thats another conversation

my point is can i be with my friends forever can we stay in time when we were younger and more carefree

now we be worrying too much about work and money and responsibilities, we dont have the same amount of time for each other any more :(

I guess this has always been tough about life, when people's life directions change you know, its hard to adjust.

i should also be glad that we do have a group of friends that might always be nearby and journey together with us

so it would be great if covid goes away so we can spend our precious youth together pls huhuhu