Odd

I'm gonna give you three principles.

These are not my life-defining principles, but they're pretty important to me. and they've have just been on my mind a lot more these past few months.


1. Limitless stretching.

Whether by circumstances in life, external pressures, internal pressures or anything, I've always felt that you always have to do more or give more than you think you can. Like rising to the occasion, and then rising above it.

Just when you think you've done your best and given your all, something else comes along the way to make you work harder. If you look back and think about it, I guess that's how we all grow and change. By coming out of comfort zones.

Like, logically, if you look at the task ahead of you, you just can't imagine doing it with the resources or ability that you have, but have no choice, just do it, and then be amazed by how capable you actually can be.

Gotta accept that whatever you think you know or understand, sometimes there's more and that you gotta accept it no matter how difficult it is if you want to be better.

Apply this to everything. Your studies, your relationships, your thoughts, perceptions and ideas, your talents, your character.

Which leads me to the next point.



2. Question everything.

Ignorance stems from believing you already know everything right? We should always be prepared to take everything with a pinch of salt. Don't believe every facebook post you see with a catchy tag.

I don't know if what i'm championing might just be a form of post-modernist thinking, but i'm just saying: don't be so gullible.

I know this might be a tiring notion, and i know that in under some situations, trust and faith outweighs the need to be so speculative. Why waste your time with being paranoid right. Right. I don't like overly uptight, conscious and kiasu people either, but there's a difference between that and blind acceptance alright.

and sometimes the things and people you place your faith and trust on are also in the end just human. except God.

but even religion. nobody ever said that religion was meant for the blind to lead the blind. we all make a choice to believe in what we believe, and we have the faith to believe it and then accept it.



3. You are your biggest obstacle.

In the end, we all have a choice of what we want in life. As much as people and circumstances affect you, you choose how to accept it. You decide whats more important for you right? and if you want to limit yourself because of pride or anything, then in the end the person that suffers most is you.


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Okay, after reading what I wrote, I guess it's for a pretty narrow string of thoughts lah. There are always other factors and circumstances that can be easier said than done. Maybe i'll just spew out my thoughts more here instead of being so passively driven to give a self righteous lecture.

I don't even know who reads this blog anymore, I suppose Zach and Aaron, because you guys commented on my posts recently. (thankiu :D) and maybe Carmen. idk.

Here goes.

Those three things above come to my mind most when I'm trying to comprehend my latest big life decision. A lot of logic can be set aside with this, because in essence, it is illogical, and das why i cannot comprehend it and das why i am here with this dilemma. and das why i've got to resort to some other method of decision making because a logical one cannot fit in this illogical problem. ugh.

I suppose this is another season of stretching for me, in terms of my serving and sacrifice for church, and in extent, for God. The many years of being a Christian and being in FGT has molded me into whatever I am now. I have done what seemed to be impossible things over the years, and come out of the other end utterly blessed and in awe of how God takes care of me. I suppose my perspective of how life is and should be has also been continually stretched.

and now again, I have to be stretched even more. I guess. I said it so myself above. There's no full stop in all of this. In my understanding of Christianity, my church, sacrifice and leadership. in placing any certain amount of importance on secular things like studies, friendships, romantic relationships, and money. above all, trusting that God has a better plan will always be an ongoing process.

AT the same time, i also have to start questioning again on how limitless this actually has to be. part of growing into adulthood is coming into independent thinking and not everything should be spoon fed to you anymore.

is submission and blind allegiance not the same thing? maybe the illogical part of this situation just has to be applied, and that it may be what God wants for me.

of course like any other self crisis, internal conflicts also play a part.

When for so long you have believed in a person or an institution as the truth, alongside your own, with of course you trying to align yourself along the way when suddenly it takes such a turn, that maybe it is too difficult or not correct anymore.

This is why people make such drastic life changes I suppose.

which leads to the last point.

What if in the end, you limiting yourself would cause you your biggest regret. If you had actually pulled up your socks and made it through, that you had the chance to be better, but you took the easier path, the path of self-importance, or pride or convenience.

and what if you know that the deviated path was the wrong one. that not everything in life also has to be a struggle. you also know yourself and what you want. where you want to go and what you want to achieve and how it is.



i think i am not making any sense.
but thats exactly how my thoughts are at the moment. i also can't figure this out.

i just have to say that i am really, really disappointed. and that until now I cannot find a single thing about this that i agree with.

i'm trying my best to be reasonable.

but like i said, it's just illogical.

and you said it so yourself too.