like waiting for paint to dry

with jack and sarah :) they're really nice!

alrightey. camp post will be up soon. no way i'm gonna forget about camp. :)

and maybe a short one of my birthday.

otherwise.

things are happening again. and it's almost the same, though the sequence of events is a lil different.

what hasn't changed is how i feel.

which is ridiculous! hor!

it's been two years, wait, THREE years (-_-) and it scares me that i still cannot juggle feelings with judgement.

the only progress that i've made is knowing my judgement sucks and that it's better to not have these sort of feelings at all. and it's been a long time since.

all i can remember and have observed since is that it's easy to lose proper judgement amidst of mushy feelings. emotions take hold of you so easily and it's more convenient to choose to act on what makes you happy temporarily and for all the wrong reasons instead of acting on what's best and what's right.

and even more so when there are not many examples of people doing the latter isn't it?

there's a lot of emphasis on not over-thinking things and just risking it, but that's crazy.

these things require so much more otherwise it has consequences that'll affect you for a long time.

and i've been through all that already. and phwoar it's super tiring. -_-

omgsh.

it's so easy to hope for the best and jump in with my eyes closed and to imagine life going happily ever after.

hor.

i want this to happen, but with as little mistakes as possible. and making sure it's okay with God. and my friends and family.

i'm so scared to make the same mistake i made last time. and i'll pray hard for the very best.

<3

:)

ps. hadn't had a mushy feeling in a while now.