holladays.

i am alone at home.

rar.

i never hate holidays.

i've been studying alot :/

i mean, why not. spm is (sorry) less than 2 months away.

and i'm scared to stop studying. cause i might lose any sort of momentum or motivation i think i have now.

what do i call it? it's called casual intensive studying.

beware of nerd talk.

i have a schedule. it's fool proof while having a back up plan, it's strict but reasonable, and it's not tiring. but oh wait, since when is studying not ever tiring?

but i thought if i kept up my cram before exam, sleep too much yet not enough, late night studying, i would probably crash and burn before my first paper even starts.

and i always knew i'd have to study hardcore by this time already. last year i thought i'd be starting much earlier. after the last holidays i thought i might start much later.

but i'll make do :)

because the secret is time management babehh :)

i study all morning till evening, about 10-5, with lunch break :), and then do nonsense like, watch tv, go online, bathe, socialise, wtv, till about 8 or 9. then i continue studying till about 12. that with frequent breaks.

and i take a break every one or two days. :)

and weekends? miracle if i get to study.

but i've been cranky nowadays too. so theres a zilch in my plan. i don't know why.

DON'T YOU LOVE ARSENAL :D bai!

zombies.

you know the bruno mars song, just the way you are, i mean, of course you know it. it is very osm.

i think the lyrics mean so much, for you know, just a pop song.

i think if a guy (that can sing, and sings well :D) sang that to me i will just melt, of course, he has to sing it with sincerity.

because telling me i'm perfect just the way i am, and you think i'm fine despite all my imperfections, so far, is something only God has done for me.

i am pretty and i know it :) just, sometimes, i know i look very retarded too, cause my default neutral face, is an angry, annoyed face.

that is why people tell me i look hostile and unfriendly all the time.

i don't like my single eyelid, yeah only on my right eye cause my left eye is fine.

but both eyes, still small.

and i don't like my lack of eyelashes. and they are short also.

i don't like my porous skin. especially on the nose, and areas surrounding it.

i don't like my hairy knuckles.

i don't like my short, fat calves. and my thunder thighs.

i don't like my feet. they are large. like duck feet.

and my tummy.

and my hips. very wide. when i give birth, they will just slide right out.

and i don't like my white hair.

HOWEVER :)

there's alot of things i love about myself.

i love my hair. it's long and voluminous, and its smooth, and straight, yet when i want it to be wavy, i can :)

i love my...teeth? never needed braces babes. and my lips cause they're not too thin and not to puffy. i know this sounds like nonsense. but for real, they. are. nice.

you know some people have flat lips, or fish lips, and lips that stick out too much, or not at all.

i think mine are perfect. i should stop peeling and biting them.

i love my shoulders. and my collar bone. hahahahaa.

i love my legs too, in a way. i mean, they could be a whole lot shorter?

and yeah that's about it.

i know, this post annoys me too. and i almost don't wanna post it.

it's the culture anyway, nowadays.

like, i look at megan fox and feel inferior too.

i know how to be content with how i look, but sometimes some people, even some people you know, are that much more good looking.

and you go like warggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.

wtv.

i am pretty :D

btw. i love charmaine.

arsenal.

i'm sorreh, i was just watching the goal of the month review on arsenal.com where they replay all goals from the month and i look like a sampat moron at 1.16 am in the morning smiling ear to ear and almost insanely deprived of football for a whole week already ahhhhhhh after a few replays i don't even look at the goal, i look at the fans cheering and the commentators and the stadium announcers and they are all so happy and sigh, one day i will be there okay one day and i too will be there, extremely happy and then i will stalk aaron ramsey, because his foot is still broken so he can't run away from me see now i can't sleep because that stupid 6 minute video made me so happy.

bai :)

candy coated.

UPDATE! :D

hee. so. i'll start with melaka.

it was osm.

:)

i went out at like 8 in the morning -_- jess picked me up... and.. we went to her house :) and watched tv and lazed around till 11.

then we went to cineleisure. which is so quiet. and empty. and nice :)

we watched step up 3! i don't know why i'm so chirpy nao, but wtv.

the dances there will blow your mind :)

and all these silly dancer people. sigh. there's gonna be dance next year. i signed up. did you?

and then we went back to her house... supposed to sleep, but i watched more tv.

then took a shower.

then went back to church. where we were much too early. -_- they said 6.30.

liars.

so we went to the mamak with my sis, kyle and gid. and... i'm giving such a detailed description.

if you're annoyed or bored now, you can go away. really.

and then went back to church. and then off we go. and that was at abt 7pm.

reached there at 9.

AND I DIDN'T SLEEP IN THE CAR!

we reached there, and it was pitch black. and then there was this thinggggg moving around and IT WAS A DOG :D yep.

there were 5 dogs that belonged to the campsite people. including a sexy dalmatian :)

and they would basically accompany you everywhere.

sigh. i love love dogs. or anything big, fluffy and affectionate.

the dorms were good, toilets good, weather good, sessions good, food good.

bugs not good.

at night we also played monopoly deal. where i won a round. i am osm.

we went to jongker street the next evening. and kinda late too. till all the famous cendol stalls closed already. in the end we just had this durian cendol, which was pretty osm too you know?

sat in terence's car on the way back. reached home in one hour. you can imagine how fast.

went home abt 9.30.

yeah. fun loh.

then went to school and saw all you osm people :) i can't believe i went all three days. didn't skip any days.

well. got another exam schedule. so so tiring. :(

i realized i always had an excuse my entire form 4 and form 5 year for doing badly in every exam.

form 4 first exam, i can blame it on mssd and training, and well, everything being totally new. next exam, i can blame it on prefect retirement stuff, and i don't remember what, but i was always busy...

and by the august exam i was already lost. and still had more prefect stuff. same for finals.

by prefect stuff, i mean all that stupid event planning, and yes, it was alot.

and form 5, first exam, same lah. mssd, training, and more events.

the killer double mid-year? hari kantin and other stuff.

and the trials that just passed? i blame it entirely on the talent search.

yeah.

all that, plus i'm not smart. i'm not stupid, though.

and i also have bad time management.

so now? next exam? jps trials.

what can i say to that?

maybe i can say it is a cumulative of everything. i mean, if i miss out on my studies periodically, i'm sure i can say i am very handicapped?

why not?

can you imagine doing everything did and still keep up good grades?

what puzzles me more is how you can actually do worse than me given all those unmissed classes, and more time to study.

okayla, i'm being abit self righteous lah. i didn't do all that much, and there are prolly alot more people doing more than i do.

but still.

sigh. this time i can't have any excuses okay. i'm gonna use the next 2 weeks well. it doesn't feel anything like a holiday at all.

grr.

stupid plants vs zombies.

love!