What a time
Just feeling some extreme growing pains again. pretty overwhelmed today. Some small things trying to cover for the big things and the small things fall through and the big things are like UM HEY
I doubt my coping mechanisms are any good, but hey I've made it to where I am today as a mildly successful grown adult right, right?
Just, really, there's no manual for anything in life. I hate being so indecisive or so immobile but really, i doubt anyone has been confident to make decisions in things they have no clue about, extremely urgent time crunch, mind-numbingly expensive, and have zero support or space to have a comfortable discussion about.
And before i want to look at other people i can only blame myself. like its so millennial of me to try to find some root cause of trauma in my childhood or something that can help me find out why im like this
I find myself physically incapable to say whats wrong with me, i find it so jarring and the opposite of casual but hey laura people have problems and try to solve them not bury them or hope they go away
idk it just feels so claustrophobic recently you know, like all the air is sucked out, its dark and you cant see any way around
i sometimes feel overwhelmed and thats illustrated with lots of unknown open space and streets and buildings but now its dark and suffocating and small.
and you know what pissseeeesss me off, its probably a medium sized problem but because im hormonal or whatever i feel like crap and when i feel better im like eh can brush that off but was that ever a real valid emotion that should have been dealt with or what even
anyway, just lots of money and time and energy and changes and lack of progress? lack of control in things?
and what if really not everything can be solved, so you really just need support sooooooo laura can you open your mouth and ask for help or nah
