so one in a million.

aha. yez. i am blogging. even though i'm tired and sleepy and still have quiet time to do.

you know why? i also dunno. i like to busify myself. because. i am a workaholic.

as much as studying (pre-spm era) sucked, i always had a drive to do it :) cheh wassup man.
i liked that i could stay the whole night sit in one position with a book for hours till my butt numb and STUDY. yeah. i worried myself that i'm a workaholic. and a neurotic overachiever. iz okay.

i am also lazy. so i don't look crazy yet :D

haha.

i do get a bit high when i'm tired though, as most of you dooo as well :D

sigh.

anyway.
just a short post.

you know in the movies when you watch a scene in a car where everybody in the car are best friends and they're like just on the road, but then like they sing loudly and madly to the songs on the radio, and the passengers scream for their life and laugh like crazy when the driver does something silly on the road. and they  look so happy and crazy. okay a bit bimbotic lah, but i never actually thought it happens in real life?

like today :D hahah.

i mean, i've sat inside countless cars with my also countless best friends (watered down term -_- ) and many times it's just awkward or quiet in the car? or you hum silently to like a g6. and stare out the window. or the back passengers have their own private conversation. or the driver pays a lot of attention to the road making you feel like your talking to the car?

well.

it's different with my cell girls :)

my jess (crazy driver), my mae (sidekick), my faya, aski, clarissa, elena or actually whichever combo of my girls lah. cause we do sing aloud to ALL the songs on the radio (except chinese ones la) and we're laughing alll the time and jess is making us scream silly when she does crazy things on the road. or just me when i'm paranoid with her braking abilities. and we must look absolutely retarded to other people on the outside.

but i'm so happy. and of course this happens almost every time in her car. and it's just some lunch trip. not even anywhere exciting.

i've always wanted to sing loudly to every song i know on the radio with my best friends. and now i can :)

i crazy i knu. see why i can't leave them? :(

don't hate me cause i'm beautiful!

no dance practice for two weeks! then audition! D:
easter! :D

gadget impaired.

hi :(

so on saturday morning, i went to church. at 6am. sigh.
as soon as i got out of the car. i hear a thunk and my heart stopped for awhile.
i look down into the dark drain, and i see the light on my htc blinking for help.

emoo.

lucky my dad was there. helped me to lift up the drain cover and picked it up. had to wash it, but by then it was already dead.

my darling htc.
hasn't been working since. it spontaneously turned itself on once, but then it turned itself off as well.
and then again.

and then now, i have to use back my old nokia. which is crazy. has useless battery and memory, and also very temperamental.

i knew this would happen one day. i mistreat my belongings. i never actually take them for granted. i'm just bad at taking care of things.

my htc wasn't exactly a mind-blowing piece of technology. and it gets crazy too. but i've come to love it. and now, kill it.

at first i hated it because it was such a business phone. and the menu wasn't really a menu. and besides a sparky interface, every other thing about it was boring. and when people want to see it, they just stab at it's crazy screen looking confused and puzzled and hand me back the phone with a half smile.

it also has some allergy to internal and externally installed applications. it reacts violently against my bible e-sword and my pinball app. it was okay with a few games until it began to get angry and somehow disable them. -_-

and it's very difficult and bothersome to save contacts. and constantly enables my gprs which costs a bomb. it always suggesting me to send emails and mmses.

it's hard to text. and the text predictions are utterly stupid. i can type in 100 letters and it would still suggest to me "transportation". it doesn't have quick smileys.

sometimes when i play music it plays it with a much higher pitch and faster tempo. it especially dislikes justin bieber. it has extremely exclusive bluetooth. making it hard for me to receive or send anything.

it cannot be customised. limited to wallpaper only. even my exterior.

however. it has SOME sort of face value. somehow impressive looking. good security. although i simply yell out my password around. it's just to keep the family away.

good wi-fi connection. and internet explorer. i can log in anytime i want.

semi-good camera. crazy lots of storage. i have 500 precious messages with me. SIGH. and lots and lots of pictures. lots of music.

it has solitaire. my best companion around during spm. because whenever i got bored of studying, which is alot, i can play solitaire :)

good calendar. reminders on my home page.

oh whatever lah. i miss uuuu.

i don't know what some sort of angry comatose state you are in right now. i know you're angry at me for always dropping and scratching you. i know i know. i'm sorry. if you wake up again i promise to love you more okay?

htcccccccc :(

if you don't wake up i buy new phone. and you'll be dead forever. who's loss? yours or mine?

:(

a thousand words.

i've been emo-ing :(

okay, not really. my life is rich with happiness with every turning, and i am happy with the way things turn out and content with what i cannot control.

but. doesn't mean i can't get sad :(

remember in my 2010 post, i said it's a year people leave? so is 2011.

i've had this pic a long time adi. it's from one tree hill. and in fact i even posted it up here once before.

but back then i meant when people leave, they choose to leave. and it was some nonsense about guys lah. i mean, it was true. but now i mean it in a totally different context.

now people leave because they have to. you have to do other things that are very important and they have to go somewhere further to do so. it's silly to live inside a little bubble where everyone you love will always be around with you, for you.

i cannot tahan. first, my best friend of 12 years has to go for ns. una will be back on cny and of course it's only 3 months but still! all the after spm plans gone, and she's a really easy person to miss. 

and nat is going away for 6 months too :( okay she'll be back during cny as well. but till then how? my wednesdays D: 

and now johanna :( that one's the worst for me so far :( she's going to australia for 5 years. she'll be back end of this year for a holiday, but OMG i'm going to miss her.

even at the farewell yesterday yeah i feel like a noob for crying in front of everyone. we've been friends for 7 years now. and very good friends all the while. she may seem quiet at first but when she's excited she gets really hyper and smiley :D she's sweet too. and i kept all the nice cards she gave to me. and we have matching giraffe t-shirts. and no more sleepovers :( and her custom shoes :) and her hugs. 

and julian who's already gone.

i'm such a wimp.

see, so there is consequence of having too many good friends. you love more, laugh more, enjoy more, but you will also cry more. when they go.

emooo.

SO.

i took my undang test. i honestly didn't study much. i did the questions though. the night before i watched the noob game where ipswich beat arsenal BUT don't worry it's only the first leg. so i was did 200 questions while watching. 

i like doing things when i watch early morning games.

before school ended i always do my math or add-math homework while watching. sometimes i paint my nails while watching. so that night i did questions. i slept at 6.30. woke up at 7.30. haha.

debbie's mom fetched us and we reached there at 9.30 i think. and we met cheryl soh there. and later also met andrea :)

by the time we actually took the exam was 12.45. for me lah. dunno why debbie take much later. when i going to finish.

i got 45/50 and debbie 46/50.

and we walked all the way to mien tui mien. i forced her. cause i is like my pan mee there.

and then walked all the way to empire.

which iz quite far!

and walked and walked and walked. had dinner with her mom and sisters then. home.

friday went out with jess and joyce to 1u to buy something for nat and johanna. seriously had so much fun :)

and saturday was a lonngggg day.

morning prayer again (yes! 2 consecutive weeks adi!) and breakfast and futsal. 

there were like, other people at the court, that we don't know. but the wanted to play with us so okay :D

and i think we won. every match against them. haha. i mean, not me lah, i'm not going to play against a bunch of guys i dunno D:

then we played. quite fun lah :)

seriously. everyone is so retarded i remember i can't stop laughing the whole time :)

and then one of the guys we didn't know joined us. and he was the one that injured me :( lol. i quite pro la stand in his way but omg he kick the ball so hard. and now my leg has a big bruise. and lawrence lah. hit my stomach D:

had to leave early. so i made terence fetch me back.

went home to bathe and get ready and go out for a japanese buffet with my cousins! seriously. this one you order wan instead of getting up and walking.

at damansara uptown. full :)

and then church. and dance practice. came home. exhausted. but still had to stay awake for west ham vs arsenal. i think i managed to blubber through it. yeah.

and yesterday. after church, got johanna's farewell.

emo.

bai.

i never wanted anything from you.

if you're wondering if i have done anything productive since my last post, well..

i did go jogging last week. and my fitness is so bad. and my muscles ached for a whole week after. so wimpy right. no wonder nobody can believe i used to be an olahraga.

i used to be able to do about 6 rounds no sweat. now, one round also can dai.

i guess time will tell if i can keep it up regularly.

on the other hand, there is dancing.

yeahp.

my church is having its 30th anniversary in february, and is having a super boom boom pow dance performance. and i'm dancing one part of it lah. it's quite long too.

and it's not like the previous dance i did er, 3 years ago with aski, lawrence, adrian, joel and ryan. that one was more modern. this one is in fact totally opposite. its a traditional dance lah. but not any less spectacular.

i wouldn't consider myself to be an awesome dancer, but i CAN dance better than most of you would think.

although traditional dancing is much harder. and boring. haha. at least its another form of a workout.

hmm.

on saturday, i was out almost the whole day.

went to church at 6 in the morning. for morning prayer. it's one of my resolutions to go every week :)
and after that, jess let me drive around the area. which is like proton and acer there lah. i panicked at the junction and braked the car and the car behind me honked like crazy.

then we went to melur to join the others. and then i went to the court with joel and joe. ahaha.

at first i felt like a tiang again and then like, why on earth am i playing with all these guys -_- but faya and i started playing more when some of them had to leave, so less players in the court lah, i felt much more useful :)

then we went to erm. the coffeeshop lah.

i didn't order anything though.

because :( i've been having these stomach aches for like 2 weeks nao, twice a day. and they're like the i need to go to toilet kind and more painful too. and then i know this part is tmi adi but i need to complain! i lau sai like twice a day and not a lot too. argh.

i'm eating right, i can't be having food poisoning for 2 weeks, nowhere near my period time, then wth is it wey.

ANYWAY >:(

at the coffeeshop we played like monopoly deal and talked and next thing you know it's already 12.

i can't believe i missed weeks and weeks of this because of spm :( never again! although i was exhausted the rest of the day, i wouldn't change anything :)

and then i went to 365. and had dance practice till 9 D:

ooh.

and on sunday, while waiting for mae, joe let me drive his manual in the parking lot.

first time driving a manual. i think i want to give up D:

what a temperamental car! you release the clutch too fast and it dies -_- and like even though i was like at less than 10km/h it felt like bloody 40.

sigh. really. lucky he's a patient guy :)

but i honestly do feel like it's so hard. imagine, that was only in a half empty parking lot. imagine the road! a hill! a turn! omg. i'm going to kill myself! and my instructor!

sigh. but then my dad (of all people) in a way, said anyyyboodddyyy can do it. just get used to it.

well. if my mom could do it. if people like haha jesssss could do it. then i can do it too :) i think -_-

rahhhhhh.

stop making a fool out of me.

i woke up this morning in utter frustration. i think i sent an unhappy text to someone too. i don't remember.

firstly, football makes me frustrated. because we played so well, with so many shots on target and so much possession to come away with equal points with a team that were dead for 90 minutes.

it's annoying. and of course that was at 6 am. i woke up this morning eagerly determined to jog with charmaine only to find out it's raining. then i slip back to sleep. and wake up shockingly staring in disbelief that it's already 11.

usually i wouldn't mind, but now it's getting silly. yeesh. i know what i want to do. what to fill all my time with. i just can't. it's stupid.

i would like to jog. yes. i would. it is my goal number...lets say 5 on my to do list. jog regularly. but the rain likes to spoil my plans every evening. and some mornings. and i always have to find a partner. btw, not everyone is free when i am, or is as excited about jogging too.

wth. yeah i can't jog alone. my area is too ridiculous to jog around, i've tried it before. and the long stretch behind the field? always full of construction workers. must go with someone.

to me the obvious solution would be a dog :) but i obviously don't have one. so i obviously shouldn't jog alone.

i don't mind jogging alone at mpsj, but who's going to send me there????? and okay. i'm abit insecure abt that.

i also want to find a job. yes. as in go around and inquire and then decide and then apply. but again someone has to take me there right. do YOU want to drive me around from place to place for a whole day and suffer through my indecisiveness? this time, a dog is not the solution.

i also need a new bible. YOU fetch me. and bring my dog too.

dance class. i wanted to join somewhere. and with a friend. one is at ns. and the other one will frustrate me with HER indecisiveness. dogs cannot dance.

driving has its own time course lah. but i'm annoyed that i have to wait. personal driving lessons? can only be done on saturdays.

swimming? cycling? yeah don't be shocked by the amount of basic life skills i lack.

ONnnnn the good side.

my room is already clean and painted. and my cupboard already organized. i'm waiting for the day this computer moves into my room. that one i need daddy to help me with.

thats all that i've completed. stupid.

i also want to download as many glee songs as i can. okay this one sounds silly but i've been wanting to do this since last year. but they're really hard and slow to download.

i'm not happy :(

and don't get me started on college or whatever. makes me angry.

if i feel anymore useless i'm going to start baking. something. i don't know. i'll paint my ceiling. or paint my shelf white. make a 2011 budget. erm. photoshop my brains out.

one thing. i've been stalking my neighbour's sexy Siberian Huskie for awhile now. and i've thought about this a long time.

would it be absurd if i went over and rang their doorbell. introduce myself and show them that i live just there and give them my parents' number and just before they get creeped out, i'll tell them i'm not trying to be creepy i was just wondering if since you and your husband might always be busy working till late evenings that   you might wish you could walk your [super sexy] huskie and german shepherd as much as you could? i mean, they're big dogs and they sit there almost the whole day i'm sure they want a good run almost everyday. and well, me, i'm free would you mind if i took them for a walk every now and then? no, i don't have any experience with large dogs nor have i walked any dog before and yes you don't know me i might kidnap them and sell them off BUT. i'll do it for free :) and i'll love them so much, because i already do and if anything happens, i'm fully responsible.

not crazy right? my parents disagree though. but only because i think that i have no guts to do it.

i'm frustrated with everything.

the definition of nostalgia.

:)

it's the 3rd of January today. when school starts. but not for us :( i don't want to overly dramatize how much i miss high school, because the best years of your life are ahead, but still. 

every morning (after prefect retirement) i'd wake up at 6.30, after endless slamming of the snooze button. go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. (yeah i don't bathe in the morning. because i'm sleepy. and it's cold. and i still smell like last night's shampoo) then i'd laze around or iron my uniform. then change. and tie my hair :) my beautiful hair! :D and then find my socks. and pack my bag. then at about 7.10 i have a quick breakfast and leave the house around 7.18. hehe :)

then i'd walk to the dataran ilmu and sit with charmaine :)

and then go upstairs to then 2nd floor to 5 explorer. i'd put my things at my usual place and wait at the corridor for my noobs :)

i'd see everybody and we'd all say hi :) and then masuk class together :)

sometime i'd recess with debbie, adeline and panda, or charmaine. 

and then when it's time to go, i'd wait for charmaine and we'll go downstairs together. and then wait at the bicycle shed and talk about our day. sometimes i'd go wait at the bridge with adeline, panda, and dog.

:')

i have to pass by school everyday and all i think about is omg i'm so old D:

and i won't be part of the 1.10 mega jam on fridays anymore :(

i miss school and friends. very much.

i miss my uniform too :(

haha. i'll be okay. just abit emo. but i'll wake up at 10 tmr feeling super osm.

in my pink room.

gnight :)