Gonna stress release a bit before I kick into full gear.
Anyway, since I have less inhibitions here, gonna talk about how my hormones have been off this period uh period. Usually my ultra-lonely why am I single feelings only come before or during my period, but this time it has only come this week. and like been a few days d lol. I assume it will go away by...like Friday or something but for now..just...let me be sad.
Just being around in Taylor's a lot more often this week and last week, looking around at all my peers and everybody else in general thinking, that in fact most of these people have a significant other. I'm thinking that my approach to compatibility should be a logical one lah, shouldn't you be with someone you respect, admire and have plenty in common with? not to mention traditionally you should have a S.O. that your parents will accept, and that you're both mature enough to be in a relationship.
Looking at most people's relationships and these are people I actually know, it seems that ANYBODY can just seem to get ANYBODY as long as someone makes a first move. Like. Have I been doing something wrong. if like that then statistically, wouldn't I have someone by now. hahahaha.
(I'm only partially serious btw. This is just me under the tinted goggles of temporary loneliness and spite.)
I probably have even written about this on this blog more than once before. Only of course now I am the oldest most experienced version of myself lah. and probably would still have told my old self not to change a thing.
Even the most crude, rude, immature, illogical, vain (or whatever other personality disorder you can think of) are in stable relationships. It seems the only requirement for seemingly successful relationships at this point of young adult life is knowing to buy each other things, celebrating anniversaries, being overly physically comfortable with each other, and going out of the way to drive someone somewhere.
Yes I know it's not wrong to have that. but. but. lol actually idk what successful relationships are made of. I've never had one either.
Most of the time I just think that people want to find a S.O. for the sake of exclusive companionship. Like just to guarantee that there's someone you have on your side at all times.
UGH okay I don't even know how to make that sound like a bad thing. Hahaha.
Also the need to post this has been spurred on by my noticing of even more hansem guys and when you get to know them, still they end up being douchey bags and half of them are already taken anyway. Look at your face so nice until I see you give me lapsap for assignment, smoke, and swear all day. MANY IMPRESS
TAYLORS WHY YOU LIKE DIS
(please someone tell me if Monash is not like this I will literally try and turn back time and try to fork out that extra 30k to register there)
Then I think that most of my guy friends are really such gems and gentlemans. and the thought of dating them literally just made me laugh out loud at myself.
At the same time I also know most of them won't even think about me that way, they are laughing even louder.
Easy to say just trust that God has the best for me, not easy to apply. but also that knowledge and trust I have in God is forever. longer than this temporary moments of insanity.
OKAY bye
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